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TiredBrownEyes Offline
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A lot of stress with this girl. - June 20th 2011, 12:16 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Possible triggers for SH and Suicide.

I went to the hospital a few months, and met a few people and friends there. One of the people I keep in contact with, I do not like but I talk to her because she doesn't really have anyone else. However she irritates me to the ends of the earth, and by that I mean she always has to tell me or mention when she cuts. I have gone 3 months without SH, and I'm kinda sensitive to triggers lately, since I've been trying to come off of drugs. But I deal with them and her.

Anyway, yesterday at 12am she texts me and says she done with life and is going to kill herself. I spend 2 hours trying to calm her down, and I end up calling the hospital we went to, to get their advice. They told me to call 911. At this point she stops answering my texts, and then I send her one saying I was going to call the cops. I was shaking, worried as heck and not even knowing what to do. Then all of a sudden she answers again, telling me not to call the cops. Her texts are clear and I wonder if she was BSing me. I call her, we talk, and I tell her to call the crisis line and talk to them since she tried to overdose on her meds. It was around 4-5am that I finally get to sleep. And I was at a sleepover, which she knew.

After a very long and stressful night, I still feel like crap. But she texted me saying she went to Emerg and her mom picked her up and all this. I don't know what to say anymore. I've had multiple people tell me that I need to drop connections with her, but I don't know what to do. And we've had multiple conversations where she wants to kill herself. And it's stressing me ouuuut. And I don't even really like her all that much. But I'm there for her.

Opinions would be lovely, I just don't even know what to do with her anymore. And I can't tell if she's doing this for 'attention', and I hate that word so much. But it's been happening so often it makes me wonder. Oh, and she said she had just broken up with her girlfriend so I don't know if that triggered all this. And I really hope me saying I'm fed up doesn't make me sound like an ass. :/
   
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Re: A lot of stress with this girl. - June 20th 2011, 02:17 AM

You should not be going to these lengths to help a person when you are still working toward recovery yourself. Set some ground rules: you're willing to talk to her and offer emotional support, but discussions about self-harm and suicide are off-limits. If she can't respect your needs, then you'll have to limit or cease contact with this girl. She has many resources during her time of need - parents, friends, mentors, hospital staff, crisis hotlines, websites like TeenHelp, etc. You should not be the one she goes to whenever she's undergoing a crisis.






Last edited by PSY; June 28th 2011 at 07:07 PM.
   
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Re: A lot of stress with this girl. - June 23rd 2011, 02:53 PM

Thank you for your help PSY. I told the girl that I can't help her with things like that and to go through the ressources that she does have. I felt like crap at first sending it, but she seemed to be fine with what I said.
   
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Re: A lot of stress with this girl. - June 24th 2011, 10:25 AM

Help yourself before you help her. Part of helping yourself involves removal of such triggers and stressors, including this girl. I would stop talking to her, although I you still want to talk with her, the moment she begins saying she feels suicidal or whatnot, tell her to call the police as it is her life and her business, you are not her on-call buddy. If she cannot comply to these basic requests, then drop her.


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Re: A lot of stress with this girl. - June 25th 2011, 06:22 PM

I agree with what's been said above. You can't help other people at the expense of your recovery.Helping people is supposed to do more good than hurt, and it just doesn't seem like you're happy. I'm glad that you told her you can't help her. Make sure she knows why though. Tell her that you're still wanting to focus on recovery yourself. She might be doing this for attention, or she might not. I don't think that bit matters. What matters is your recovery, and how you're affected by all of this.


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Re: A lot of stress with this girl. - June 28th 2011, 09:31 PM

Thank you for the replies. I was worried that what I said to her wasn't ideal, so I showed my guidance counsellor. He said it was ok, but I still felt like crap. This is what I sent to her.

"Hey, hope your feeling better. But I have to let you know I can't help you with things like sunday night. I'm not a doctor, or even an adult for that matter. I can't handle situations like that. So night time something like that happens, you need to call your crisis line, hospital or tell an adult. Don't text me things like that then tell me not to call 911. I'm trying to get better myself, I can't add more stress then I already have. I'm sorry, and I hope you find someone that can help you better than I can."

I still am a little uncertain if I said it ok, but I haven't heard from her in a little while. Despite that, I am glad I ended up sending it to her.
   
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