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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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ghslax5 Offline
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Question Friend came out to me - June 22nd 2011, 12:38 AM

One of my best friends, who I've known for three years, recently told me she's bisexual. Now, I had my suspicions of course, but we never actually said it outright. I am completely accepting of her choice and I have no problem with it, but I also am not quite sure if I should just act completely normal or change my attitude around her. I've just acted completely normal since but I'm not sure whether to bring it up.
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Re: Friend came out to me - June 22nd 2011, 01:25 AM

There isn't any reason to treat her differently. She's still the same person, nothing has changed. She was still Bisexual before she told you, the only difference is that now you know of it.

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Re: Friend came out to me - June 22nd 2011, 08:25 AM

Hey there,

In my opinion, she's still your friend. What she's told you shouldn't change anything. You don't need to adjust your attitudes or your actions. As Nick said, she hasn't changed - the only difference is that you know more about her. If anything, that should make you two closer.

If you want to bring it up, you could talk to her. I know that when I came out to my friends, I was open to any questions they asked, and didn't mind them bringing it up. You could even ask her if she's comfortable talking about it, of if she'd prefer you didn't mention it.

Anyway. Good luck to you and your friend!

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Re: Friend came out to me - June 22nd 2011, 08:29 AM

There's no reason to change your attitude unless you openly bashed bisexuals. Otherwise, she's the same person and despite your previous suspicions, you were still fine with her. If you act differently, it will make interactions awkward for no reason and she probably will see it as though you're uncomfortable or don't like her sexual orientation. If you truly accept her orientation and have no issue with it, then no need to change your attitude.

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Re: Friend came out to me - June 22nd 2011, 08:36 AM

Since you two are bestfriends I don't think it'd be bad to bring it up and talk about it =) I mean, you talk about everything else (i'm sure) and if she likes a girl and it begins to get serious i'm sure she'll confide in you for you're advice and/or simply just her friend to talk to.. . I think everyone else gave you great advice already about nothing changing and about your attitude towards her =] well i wish you luck

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Re: Friend came out to me - June 22nd 2011, 10:39 AM

It's nice that you are so trustworthy that she told you Just act normal like you are, I think someone said she was bi before- now ya know. It's not like she changed the moment she told you. So act like you did before she said anything.

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Re: Friend came out to me - June 22nd 2011, 02:52 PM

I think it was a major step for her to come out and tell you that. Do not treat her differently, she is still the same person she was before she told you.

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Re: Friend came out to me - June 25th 2011, 06:41 PM

I think it really says something about your friendship that she trust you enough to come out to you. If you treat her any differently, then she is going to feel like being bi sexual is wrong, and it's not going to make her come out to anyone else.

As others have said, she is the same person. She isn't a different person because she is bi sexual. You merely have just found out something new about her that has always been apart of her.

As for bringing it up to her, no need. If she wants to talk about it, then talk about it. What would there be to bring up?
Anyhow, no reason to treat her any different.

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