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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
LucyLouWho Offline
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Name: Chelsey
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I miss having friends. - March 11th 2009, 05:32 PM

I used to have at least three good friends that would talk to me all the time and ask to hang out and stuff. Now, my only friend is Matt. None of the others want to hang out anymore, talk to me, or even really acknowledge that we were ever friends.

Two of these people are a couple who are still in the 'we have to constantly be together' phase of their relationship. That's cool. I can understand that. I've been there. But how come we can't all get together and go out on a double date together? I don't understand. I realize that they have their things that they want to do together just like Matt and I do, but how come we can't all hang out together once in awhile?

I'm not really so worried about the other friend because I figured out that he was only my friend because he wanted a chance to be with me. As soon as I got married, he stopped talking to me, found himself a girlfriend, and hasn't really even tried to contact me since my wedding. So I'm not so worried about that.

But those other two friends, I really miss hanging out with. She (the girl) spends the weekend at the guy's house (my cousin), so I offered to come over one day during the weekend a few weeks ago and she pretty much insinuated that she didn't really want me to.

You guys know what I'm talking about? Like, when you're still in the 'heated' stage of the relationship and like to be alone together most of the time? Yeah, well, that's what they're going through. I don't know if it's because Matt and I aren't like that or because we're past that stage in our relationship, but we tend to enjoy hanging out with people more than just staying locked in my bedroom all day, you know? We can do that stuff at night, so during the day we like to hang out with people and do stuff.

But lately the only people we've been really hanging out with on the weekend have been his grandmother and his father. What fun, huh? I don't know. I just miss how we used to all be close.

And my friend is pregnant, so I was hoping that we could go through this pregnancy thing together, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I don't know... I just miss how things used to be between us all.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
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Re: I miss having friends. - March 11th 2009, 10:26 PM

Hey there Chelsey,

Have you tried phoning them up about this? Part of keeping the friendship is staying in touch. Get to know what they are up to and how they are doing. They might be pretty busy, so it would be good to know what they've been up to lately in order to plan to hang out some time.

Just let them know that you want to keep the friendship going. Invite them to a movie or over for dinner. I'm sure it will get easier once you start hanging out again. If they say they can't go at the time you suggest, ask when they are free. Make sure you keep in touch with them at least through phone or email.


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BrittneyNicole Offline
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Re: I miss having friends. - March 11th 2009, 10:51 PM

Why don't you call her and explain how you're feeling to her? Tell her you miss her friendship and wanted to go through the pregnancies together and just hang out. Maybe you two can set aside one day a week that you guys just hang out?

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
LucyLouWho Offline
In that order...
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Re: I miss having friends. - March 12th 2009, 01:37 AM

Well, part of the reason that our friendship is kind of crumbling (the girl and I) is because her boyfriend (my cousin) has a fit if she goes anywhere with friends without him or without him knowing. So whatever we do, he has to be right there. And I doubt she'd do anything without him anyway.

Previously Mommy.Wife.Student
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misleadjean Offline
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Re: I miss having friends. - March 13th 2009, 04:25 PM

like the people who have already posted, I suggest being completely honest. they may already have feelings about the situation, but I think if they hear from YOU what YOU have to say, they will see how much their friendship really meant to you.

I hope it works out for you.
good luck.

"Leap, and the net will appear."
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