A Not So Stereotypical Situation

[RawrCar]

Alright, this might take a lot of explaining, considering I like to be an author on the sidelines. If any of you has the courage to read this whole thing, we are destined to be best friends for ever and ever. Hopefully, you find my family interesting.

First of all, my Dad was a total player back in his twenties. I just found out recently that I have a long lost half-sister (Two months younger than me). We hang out, but you'll hear more about that later. There's also my other half-sister who was born about a year before me, and then my Dad got back together with my mom (By some miracle) and made another little miracle, my 5yr old sister. Well, first off, my Dad is an alcoholic, got raped as a kid, did drugs, immigrated from another country, blahblahblah. SO, he wasn't the greatest of Dads. When I was 12 or so, I got in the car with him while he was drunk and he got into an accident. I lived just in case you were wondering.

This is where the trouble comes in! No, not where it comes in. Er... Starts. My mom gets ticked and divorces em and after my Dad is made a felon and goes to jail because of this. So, me, my Mom, and my little sister, who was still just a baby move into this crap-stick apartment in the middle of ghettosville. Well, that's an exaggeration, but still... My mom is under uber-pressure working nights by herself leaving a twelve year old to look after a baby when one night when shes out drinking...

WHAMMO! Hello Step Daddy! Now, don't get me wrong. My Step Dad isn't the problem. Well, he's part of the problem, but you'll see. Step Daddy has two other kids at this point, none of which lived with him. Plus, he's had his heart broken like a bazillion times, so now incoming Step Daddy who acts like a jerk because he had it rough.
Hold on, I have to apologize at this point. I tend to be a bit of a smart alek when I write. Sowwy...
Oh, and at this point, I'm a sack of fat with no emotion whatsoever and thinks he knows everything, just so you know.
Incoming Conflict!
Oh, by the way, for some reason My Step Dad decides the he is in love with my Mom and one of his ex-wives. So both of his kids move in with us and both my mom and his ex wife go ahead and pop another munchkin out. Yeah, they were all cool with it. :/
Well, my Step Dad is none to pleased with my crappiness, and I am none to pleased with his jerkiness. So, in response I become depressed due to sudden emotional outtburst and not being able to let it out for fear of getting the crap beaten out of me. So, I try to kill myself.

Luckily I don't succeed. At this point, I have finally established my antagonizing relationship with my step Dad and decided if I am going to be alive on this planet, I might as well have some fun. And I go pseudo-insane for a short amount of time.

Oh, but this is where it starts to get good! As I previously explained, I was a sack of fat with no personality. Due to the antagonizing relationship, I am able to regain the emotion and personality that was robbed from me due to those stupid bullies from Kindergarten through seventh grade. And because of this I make friends who like me for my weird little self! But here's the catch... THEY DO DRUGS!!!! YAY!!! -_-

So, I try ecstasy once, and of course I am a very bad liar, so things go from bad to worse and the first good things I have in years are stolen from me by this... this... Oh, whatever. I dunno. Well, the X was a one time thing, I assure you! I am not at all addicted! In fact, I got a good portion of them to quit! Only one or two still do it as far as I know.

OHOHOHO, but now for the moment you've all been waiting for!!! Now that I am restored to the personality that was once mine, here comes my Dad! He hires a lawyer and gets some visitation hours. I'm skeptical at first, I admit... but after being with him for awhile, I realize that it is ridiculous how much he has changed. He even has a girlfriend now! ...And it's my long-lost half sister's mom. The one from before.
INCOMING BULLSHIT!

Now, after a couple of months of being with My Dad and long lost sister, and soon to be Step Mom, and all the other cool characters over there, I realized something...

THE PEOPLE I LIVE WITH ARE A BUNCH OF BORING, NON-ECCENTRIC TWATS WHO THINK THEY KNOW ME, BUT CAN'T COMPREHEND MY EFFED UP LITTLE MIND! Grr... I know I sound like a stereotypical ranting american teenager at this point, but honestly, I swear I'm smarter than the average bear!

Sorry, bout that. I realize as well, my Step Dad isn't a bad father... he's just not MY father... My Dad might be odd and quirky and had some bad things happen to him, but I realize something... He's my Dad! Meaning that in the Jigsaw puzzle of life, there's a cozy little spot next to him meant for me. I am dumbfounded that in the short amount of time I spent with a bunch of strangers, they already know me fricking better than it took my Step Dad four years to get to.

There's a lot of others reasons I could just pour and pour to you of why I like it over there moreso than here, but probably the most important one that makes all the world to me... I'm not alone. (Metaphorically speaking, silly)

Dear god, you have no idea how happy that makes me, coming from a child that grew up in an empty house with his Mom and an old Nintendo. A kid who got his face shoved into the pavement in by bullies in freaking kindergarten because he couldn't make friends. A boy who sat pitifully in his room all day overeating to keep himself happy, and lashed out at the people who hung out with him as those around him did to him, and drew lonely little fantasies in random notebooks. A teen who chugged Windex because he couldn't get thrown a freaking bone once in life. And even now when he jacks the only other people who can relate. (All of my friends have some kind of pitiful back story oddly enough. Maybe thats why they used to do drugs.)

And now you tell me I can't even be with my Dad?! What the hell?! Thanks Step Dad, for doing a good job as a parent. He's a fire-fighter by the way. A Fire-Fighter trying to raise a cartoonist (me) is bound to be a disaster. >:P

And of course, there's my Mom, who I'd be devastated if I hurt her after everything she's been through for me... And my step Dad and his ex-wife deserve bones too. Plus I'd be leaving my 5yr old sister who adores me more than the other kids. (She'll most likely be having the same problem when she gets older, so keep an eye out )

So this is my problem... Is it worth it? Moving in with my Dad despite the fact that I'll be hurting people and my 5yr old sister gets picked on when I'm not around. I'll be getting better school... I'll be motivated to y'know... live? But there's the problem of cost and how the heck am I going to be able to get my sister for her visitation hours?! I won't be able to show my face... And I don't know if I'll be able to resist an IN YO FACE dance to my step dad if things work out.

Did you survive my story? Care to offer some advice?? Hehe...

[sunz123]

whoa....
hang on, lemme catch my breath...
ok, it comes down to this:
1- you either move in with your dad and live a better life
2- you stay with your stepdad, live a sucky life, but you wil be there for your mom and your sister.
right?
the thing is, each of us thinks differently. this is a HUGE decision, and you really need to think it through.

i dont want to influence ur decision, but wen i was younger, about 16, things got really bad at home. i have 4 younger siblings. i chose to stay and be there for them because my love for them was MORE than the fear/turmoil caused by staying at home (i coulda applied for college early at 17 and gone to another country to study)
so i stayed with them, and i dot regret that decision.

again, dont let the above influence ur decision.
im really sorry that you (and your friends) have sad background stories,...
but thats life, right? theres the bad, but for every cloudy day theres rain, and rain brings goodness (cheesy, but true)
be strong, i know ull make the decision thats best for u...
ps: you said you were a cartoonist? cool. you mind sharing some of your cartoons? id love to see them.

[blumemusik♫]

When I was 12 or so, I got in the car with him while he was drunk and he got into an accident. I lived just in case you were wondering.

That made me lol :') NOT BECAUSE YOU WERE IN A CAR ACCIDENT!!!!! Because of the line "I lived, just in case you were wondering" :P

The thing is, this is entirely your decision. Nobody else can do this for you. Make a list of pros and cons for each option, and weigh it up carefully. There's no time limit on this - take your time and don't rush into a decision.

Maybe try living with your dad for a few weeks or months, and see how your mum and sister cope? Or, depending on where your parents live, spend weekends with your dad, and weekdays with your mum?

It's a tricky one, but a decision only you can make.

Good luck <3


PS - PLEASE become an author!

[RawrCar]

Ah, thanks guys, er... gals. It's odd that you both take an interest in my career when I'm talking about my family!

Anyways, of course there are even MORE details, such as my step dad's view on the situation, what he's said, the rules my mom has made, how my sister feels, how my dad, longlost sister, and her mom feel, and even I haven't expressed just how exactly this is affecting my everyday life, but the post was long enough already.

And sunz, even if I do decide to move in with my Dad, I know that I will ALWAYS be there for my Mom and Sister. My sister would be fine actually, considering she's even more stubborn than I am. And when she's old enough, I'll keep in touch with her through her cell phone, offering her advice. But it still makes me sad to leave her. My Mom would be the only real problem. But still... I don't know. And I'll try and messaging you sometime on what I've got done so far.

And blumemusik, yeah I would have understood why you were laughing anyway. I would like to be with my Dad more so I can better my decision, but my Mom won't let me stay longer than I'm supposed to until I get a job and a license. And the reason I guess I haven't done those yet is because... well, I don't really want to do anything when I'm home. I guess this house puts me in a very light depression. I don't wanna do anything, but lay my face into the bed all day... But they don't understand that. They just think I'm a recluse when I'm actually very extroverted. And thanks! Maybe I will be an author too!

[JKmadu619]

Well, you dad could have cleaned up his act. Or he could be pretending.

I understand how you are very torn. It sounds rough. It's yourself or your mom and possibly sister. You know what YOU want but you aren't sure if it's in the better interest of your family. However make sure that this is truly what you want and not an act of rebellion.

You seem to be past that, you seem too wise. However it could still be you lashing out over the misery that seems to have followed you. Friend, make sure you are doing this for the right reasons as well.

I may have missed it, but is there any way to get joint custoday? Maybe visting your mom and sister on weekends? It's just a thought anyway.

It's a very tough choice. I wish I could consult some oracle and give you a magical answer to make you and your family happy. If I had three wishes I would wish to help you for one of them. But honestly as stupid as it sounds, follow your heart and gut instincts on what FEELS right. Use the force or something, and just go with it. And hell, if you make the wrong choice, you can move back in with your mom and sister, or leave to go with your father. It might be a pain, but if you were genuinely unhappy, you could do it.

- Justin

Also regarding being a cartoonist... Anyone doing anything with fine arts/writing/news papers is alright in my book. I want to have something to do with culture or news.
Obviously my parents want me to be an engineer or for me to go into biology, but I really have no interest in that.

Edit: Also the "I'm smarter than the average bear" made me crack up. You are legitimately funny. Don't waste it by cracking a joke or two during a boring meeting in a boring office.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

You should also consider being an author in case being a cartoonist fails lol.

If I were in your shoes, I would go with the father for an opportunity at better education and improving your well-being. You could maintain contact with your sister quite easily, anything from Skype, MSN, e-mails, hand-written letters, cartoons, etc... . If your father lives nearby to your mother, then you can visit each other every week, every other week or every month. You could most certainly see each other in-person for holidays and other important days.

You mention you bury your face in your pillows and the house gives depressing feelings. To me, it's an act of not trying to change the situation and constantly re-introducing old misery into the present. Your over-ate, you were bullied in kindergarten and that sucks but that's dwelling in the past. Drawing cartoons may be an outlet for you, however, it also acts an an excuse to not actively deal with the misery you feel. It's quite understandable why your parents think you're a recluse, they only see you at home and you're sulking (or so it seems) in your room. The suicide attempt would also be something that probably does not get mentioned by your parents but is certainly something they remember as it's quite a salient act.

[RawrCar]

Oh my god, Man n' XXMaster, I think that may have been just what I needed! Well, no. Don't get the wrong idea, I don't bury my face in my pillows, as in like crying out of misery, more of just nothing here is stimulating me and I am so apathetic and bored and want to get out and do something productive, laying on my bed and daydreaming is the only option I have that sounds interesting.

But you're right! That's what I've been doing all this time, it all makes sense now. Thank you so much, I get what I need to do now. God, I'm so dumb sometimes. This really helped me. I have been letting my problems of the past back into my future. I need to let go of them. Thank you for this epiphany you have given me!!!

Oh, and for the record. I'm not fat anymore. I haven't gained any weight since fifth grade and I'm a junior now!! Ridiculous, right...?

And JKmadu, I think you hit right on the mark with my concerns. I am worried I want to move in for the wrong reasons or because I'm being rebellious. And my misery has been following me, although I don't think I'd go so far as to call it misery, but as XXmaster said, I think I've been wanting it to follow me. For it to be justified or something when I just need to let it go. And I think I've already made my decision. I need to do what's best for me and maybe even doing this will help or even change the world. That's my dream anyway, but at this point I have to figure out how and when and why I'm doing it. Whether this is the right or wrong thing to do, I know it will make me a better person to help me find out who I really am.

I hope you get your dream job too!

And lol, both of you commenting on my career choice as well! Maybe this is DESTINYYYY!!!

[JKmadu619]

RawrCar: If you considered the possibility, I was right. You are too wise for that. Most people who do things for rebellion do not consider that they are wrong.

Also, PM me if you need anything. My situation is different, my mother is depressive and somewhat verbally and emotionally abusive. So I get not having a functional family.

- Justin