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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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VFAFfan22 Offline
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Question Friend Advice - July 14th 2011, 06:08 AM

So, my friend came out to me as Bi this past January. I was the first person he came out to, and we mostly talk online because he lives about 2 hours from me (we've hung out before in real life). When he first came out, I was supportive and talked with him a lot. He began telling me about his parents, who are VERY Christian-oriented.

I had met his parents before, and they seemed nice, but once they found out about his boyfriend, the immediately signed my friend up for "counseling", blocked his internet use, and blocked most communications between him and his boyfriend. This made me absolutely hate them. My friend asked me for a favor, and now I send the texts between him and his boyfriend through my phone, so he parents do not get alerts.

My question is, is there something more I should be doing? Is helping my friend talk with his boyfriend wrong? My friend has told me countless times that he just pulls over on his way home and cries because he is ashamed of going home, and I feel so helpless.

And advice is helpful!

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SparklingWine Offline
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Re: Friend Advice - July 14th 2011, 05:12 PM

Hey there. I think that all you can do is support your friend and be there for him. It seems like he doesn't have people there for him, so it's really great that he can count on you. You can be there for him by listenting to him when he is down, talking him through his emotions, letting him know you're always there for him, etc. But don't get being supportive confused with having to fix it for him. As much as I'm sure you wish things were different for him, you can't change things. You can't change who he is, or what his parents feel and do as a result of finding out their child is gay. Plus, interferring could result in more tension. I would say help in the areas that you can and feel comfortable doing so.

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