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trixie Offline
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Exclamation i trust people too easily (please help) - July 25th 2011, 12:34 PM

Hello, I'm Tiffany and i joined this site because i need some advice that doesn't take sides and speaks honestly. I'm 16 and the following problems are very new to me.
Just according to the title, i trust people too easily.
Recently my friends who i thought were really close went behind my back. i left my group hangout three times already cause of problems, i've been to the counciler 2 times and my friends don't know that. I broke down in class several times and i quietly left to cry in the bathroom. The problem was that my group of friends became overly obsessed with cosplay. At first i was okay with it but then it got out of hand. They bought they're costumes to school and they tried to force me to spend ALOT OF MONEY to buy a costume. I felt pressured, i said no but she kept pestering me about it asking me to go get a job or borrow money.

it wasn't just a few people dressing up but almost everyone, and felt so left out because thats all they did. They went to the movies without me and they took photos etc. I organised a party for my sweet 16 and no one cared. The boys in my group arn't very helpful. i tried to talk to one of them about how i felt left out and he said "the world doesn't orbit around you."

Okay,since alot of people are involved in this, i'll put codes for each person.

(J) is a rich girl who is overly obsessed with cosplay ,the girl i talked about 'above'
(E) my friend for 9 years- i thought i knew her well enough but everyone changes and she becomes the next (j) because they both become cosplay crazy.
(A) is a girl i've always trusted,she's always been there for me but she always boasts about her test results whiche makes me feel bad cause i'm not as smart as her. During the holidays, (A)(B)and (C) went to play volleyball. (A) and (B) were saying stuff about me - Tiffany has so many problems,i could write a books. etc
(B) Was with me at a couciling session with me before the holidays and when (A) backstabbed me to her (B) felt extreamly terrible and told (C).

(C) is a nice girl however she lies alot of get out of sticky situations. She always makes friends with more popular people in the 'group' and later on discards them when they become useless.(I'm one of those girls she threw away.) However she probably doesn't know thats how it looks like.

Okay,introductions are over. I was on the phone with (A) cause i was upset and at the time i didn't know about the backstabbing. We were talking on the phone and i was explaining to her about how upset i felt. She said some nice things but i feel like she didn't mean any of it. -Tiff,please come back. We can change.

When she said that i just felt like she understood but i don't want 'them' to change just because of me. It's abnormal.

After being on the phone with (A) i called (C) because i needed to ask her something. One thing led to another and the next thing i know it she's saying - Tiff ,how could you trust (A) she has been backstabing you the entire time. she said ( REFER TO THE UNDERLINE QUOTE)

I quickly hung up cause i couldn't stand it.I trusted (A) and i was wrong but i wasn't sure if i should trust (C) because she lies quite alot.I cried for awhile but then i got over it cause i went out for dinner with my mum and dad.During dinner, i told my parents something about advice and i ended up telling them everything! My parents were very dissapointed of my friends and they suggested me find new ones.

I really tried but the new friends i found hang really really close to where (ABCJE etc) sit and when i tried to hang around them,i felt so out of place cause they can be happy without me.
Today,i sat with a new group of friends and well,we sat near (ABCJEetc) , they couldn't see me but i could see them. I also know that a new girl hangs out with them and i know that girl from tutoring. They were so happy, and they held hands and hugged etc .It cut so much. Why does it hurt so much when i know they don't deserve me?

i really tried my best to stay happy but ever since i left 'them' my grades have gone up and i've been more alive than ever. i know that i can do nothing to change them and get them to dissappear from my life...but no matter what it hurts me so much as if i was easily replaced. I've made my choice to not go back to them cause they treated me badly and they backstabbed one another.

(J) said bad things about my mum. i told her that my mum wouldn't let me buy a costume and it cost too much. she said - sheesh,it's always about your mum, far out.
I hated it how she said it with a bitter tone, i didn't like it but i never told her how i felt.

Before i left the group. i tried to talk to them but they didn't understand, the chose dressing up over FIXING our friendship.
I told them, i felt left out and i didn't want to be excluded cause everything with the dressing up thing was getting out of control.
they rolled their eyes and said "pfft,ignore us then." i felt so emotionaly hurt that i got up and left without a word.

I'm dissapointed, i thought i could trust them ;to understand me and not go behind my back but i'm wrong. What can i do to feel better than mope over people who don't deserve me?
   
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Re: i trust people too easily (please help) - July 27th 2011, 06:28 PM

Hey there! I'm not sure if you read my response to your previous thread, but I'm glad you've decided to move on and find new friends. Your parents are absolutely right - after all this drama, it's really best to just put it behind you, concentrate on schoolwork, and slowly get to know your other classmates. It also couldn't hurt to get involved in one or two clubs that are of interest to you. That's pretty much how I made all my friends in high school AND in college. =)

I don't think the problem is that you trust too easily. I think the problem is that you trusted the wrong people... and ANYONE can make that mistake. Some people don't show their true colors until you've let your guard down around them. High school is an especially treacherous time - people change, and sometimes their desire to "fit in" will pressure them to throw under people under the bus. That's pretty much what happened to you with some of your "friends".





   
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