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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Angry I need a hug or something - August 1st 2011, 01:43 AM

My brother is 11 or 12 years old honeslty ive stopped caring how old he his. all i know his he annoys the hell out of me. and he wont stop complaining till he gets his way. he always wants to hang out with me but im at the point i dont like hanging out with kids that are 12 and below (then again it sounds harsh) right now but his skull is a bit to thick to get that. how can i tell him to leave me alone.


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Re: I need a hug or something - August 1st 2011, 02:15 AM

I have like...11 nieces and nephews like that. Really, they're not going to stop bothering you until you either give them their way, or get a bit harsh. You'd be amazed what giving them a good half an hour can do, but when you really want to be left alone you have to be stern but don't yell. Just tell that you do not want to play with him, that is final, and no amount of fit throwing will get him his way.
   
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Re: I need a hug or something - August 1st 2011, 02:24 AM

ill give it a try thanks.


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Re: I need a hug or something - August 1st 2011, 04:25 PM

You're the cool older brother - of course he wants to hang out with you! I know it's annoying, but try to remember that he's only doing this because he thinks highly of you. Take his annoying behavior as a compliment. =) That being said, there ARE ways for you to get him to back off. Maybe tell him, "Look, I'd love to hang out with you, but I've got my own group of friends, and you have yours. It's important that we each have our separate lives outside of what we have as brothers." You can also offer encouragement when you see him hanging out with friends. When he comes home, ask him how his day was, comment on how cool his friends seem, and that sort of thing. Basically, you're trying to reward him with compliments whenever you see him becoming more independent, and you're gently discouraging him from trying to hang out with you all the time.





   
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Re: I need a hug or something - August 1st 2011, 06:00 PM

Spend time with him and involve him.

Seriously, I mean inviting him to watch a five minute music video on Youtube means a lot to him. Play mario with him once in a while, and maybe find a shared interest. Leave him play Halo with you once in a while or something.

Have scheduled time for you to be together (Wednesday is Halo Co-Op night for me and my brother and Friday is retro game night) and have scheduled "Me and my friends" time (Monday, Tuesday and Thursday) I mean you have to respect that he looks up to you. You are probably really cool to him. That doesn't mean every waking minute has to be spent with him, and you should encourage him to make his own friends. That's important too. But don't say things like "I don't hang out with kids under 12 anymore" because it probably makes him feel really bad.

I have a younger brother, and he knows that when I say leave me alone, I need to be left alone, when I say let's do something, he can ask to do something with me. You need to make sure your brother understands that you have to both be friends but have boundaries. Make it clear what you want, and make deals with him. He wants to do something but you're with friends, offer to play laser tag another day or something. He's human too, and treating him how you want to be treated goes a long way.

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