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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
mialynn4 Offline
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Exclamation If I wasn't alive, none of this would have happened. - August 1st 2011, 06:50 PM

To start, my parents were never married. They were together until I was 2, and then they broke up. Back then it was just back and forth, mom's house for two weeks and dad's house every other weekend. When I was three my mother beat me until i was black and blue and I don't know why.
In the past years until now I feel as if my mom releases all of her anger out on me. For example, when she gets home she would start to yell at me for something her co-worker said/did to her. Or she would blame me for high bills, so I would cut back and she would waste. So she screams at me and calls me names like ungrateful little b****, stupid son of a b****, idiot, ect. When I am mad I try to say something like "If you hate me so much, why can't I live with dad?" she would either scream at me and hit me or scream "I've fed you, took care of you, put a roof over your head.. AND YOU THINK I HATE YOU?!?" and THEN hit me. Truth is, she has her moments. She was in the army so she treats me like I'm her wothless friend of something.
My dad however is a whole diffrent story. He says he would never do what my mom does to me. But, he's at the point where he wont do anything for me, unless I say so. If I lived with him I would be going to a Christian Academy mastering art and music and all of the stuff I have passions for. I want to live with him but sometimes, I get emotional over there too. They complain as much as my mom does if not more. Child support, self employment tax, IRS problems. They don't have the time or money to be with me.
And if I live with my dad, how is my mom supposed to pay child support?! She works at a mall for heavens sake and her boyfriends a cop! She's already asked her side of the family for money and she needs me. We are opposites but I have answers to questions she has and vise versa.
I know my mom needs help but whose going to tell her? I've already talked to my school counselor about this and at the time, my mom knew about how I felt. But it's like she forgets instantly and then everything repeats itself.
I am a weak, helpless, 13 year old girl that just wants someone to care for her, love her, and be there when she cries. I need advice on what I can tell my parents and how I can feel any better. What do I do and how can I do it?

Thankyou ~Mialynn
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
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Re: If I wasn't alive, none of this would have happened. - August 1st 2011, 07:56 PM

What did your school counselor suggest when you talked to him/her? and What would your dad think about you living with him? If living with him is an option I would jump on it because it's clear to me from this post that you are being abused and you don't deserve it. I'm sure it's possible to get the courts involved if necessary so that your custody agreement can be changed. It is not your fault that your mother is treating you this way and it isn't your responsibility to figure out where the child support is going to come from, she'll have to figure that out, it would depend on how much she'd be required to pay and it's mostly determined by the cost of supporting you and her income amount.


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Re: If I wasn't alive, none of this would have happened. - August 1st 2011, 10:58 PM

Hey there, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Let me assure you that none of the abuse is your fault. I know it might seem that way sometimes, but you've done nothing wrong. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your mother. The reason why children get abused usually never has anything to do with them. I really think you need to push moving in with your father. It seems like the most stable, supportive, best place to live for you right now. It sounds like he can provide for you and keep you safe while your mother cant. I also would be up front and honest with the guidance counselor at school. Tell them what your mom does. It's natural for children to feel that bonding connection with their mother no matter what. Abuse or no abuse. Yes, your mom needs help, but she isn't your responsibility. Your safety is at risk, and that's the most important thing you need to focus on; your safety and well being. Take care.


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Re: If I wasn't alive, none of this would have happened. - August 2nd 2011, 04:05 AM

Hi Mia, I am so sorry that you have to go through something like this. Even though the same situation isn't happening to me, I can understand where you are coming from with your title, "If I wasn't alive, none of this would have happened." My parents make me feel the same way, except mine married because of fear of having a child out of wedlock. They certainly aren't the most compatible people, and many a time have considered divorce. My father has also been abusive and horrible to my half-brother and half-sister. Constantly, I feel that my mother, sister, and brother would have been so much better off without me. That I would take it back, and if it was my choice, and knew what pain my life would cause others, I wouldn't want to have been born. I am just simply not worth it. But, then a friend told me her point of view. She said to me that it was my parents' choice to have me, and that they had different options once I was conceived. But they chose to keep the child and try to make it work. Their decisions are what made today, well, today, not me. That I shouldn't feel guilt for living. It is my given life, and if my life was given to me at the cost of some, then mine must be worth something after all. Hopefully this helps you in some way. Again, I empathize with your situation and wish you the best in your struggles. Good luck. Stay Strong. <3, pookie
   
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Re: If I wasn't alive, none of this would have happened. - August 2nd 2011, 04:48 PM

None of this is your fault, and it isn't your concern on how your mother pays child support. She abuses you, and she has done you wrong. She will find a way to pay child support, because that is her job if she no longer is taking care of you in a way you feel happy or safe with.

All mamals seek to be close to their mother. Abuse is a confusing and hurtful thing when comming from a parent. However she has no right to treat you the way she does, and it is probably best to leave and live with your dad. It will be hard at first, but it will be the best for you in the future.

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