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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Kind of, troubled. - August 2nd 2011, 09:30 AM

Hello everyone,

I'm feeling kind of down because everywhere I see, there are just beautiful girls. Everywhere. And then, there's me. Haha, I just feel kind ugly. I feel like I'm getting depressed, which isn't really good. I don't know why, but I just think I'm the ugliest person in the world. I'm jealous of all my friends, I don't hate them, I kind of just envy them. They're just so pretty their beauty just shines, you know? And here I am, in one spot just kind of there. Like an extra. I'm a good friend, all my friends love me and trust me. I just don't really tell them anything because I don't want them to be sad or anything, or feel sorry for me. It's okay tho, I like keeping these kind of things to myself. I know if I tell them stuff like this they'll just say the same stuff: No, you're beautiful! Don't think that! But I know they're just telling me that to make me feel better. Hehe, ^^; I'm just one of those kinds who don't get paid attention to most of the time. No one is dazzled by my beauty, or anything like that. I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes it does, like right now. I just kinda wish I was that girl who always received compliments, on how pretty they were. I'm just a plain girl. Nothing more. I'm not all that special, and never really will be. Hehe. My friends are all pretty, and I've kinda gotten used to how they always get compliments from boys and girls and usually they'd just pass by me and smile. At least I get a smile, right? Haha, ^^; My friends are the stars, while I just consider myself the ugly friend. It's okay tho, I guess. I love my friends, and as long as they love me, I guess, I guess it's okay..
   
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Re: Kind of, troubled. - August 2nd 2011, 05:04 PM

http://www.celebuzz.com/photos/celeb...school-photos/

Read that link. Please.

Everyone nurses insecurities, it takes a strong person to say "No, I refuse to be a petty person and worry about these, I will brush them aside and live my own life, rather than leaving these negative thoughts live for me."
and move on.

You need to start leaving go and no caring so much. You cannot be the ugliest person on the planet, so be grateful for even that. It comes down to caring less, and learning instead of being jealous, be happy.
"I'm happy for my friend that they look so nice today"
"I'm happy my friend is going on a holiday! Good for them!"
"I'm happy that my friend won that award!"
Say these things to yourself and eventually it will come subconsiously, making you a very nice and empathatic person. Rather than someone who is jealous of others.
Jealousy is a major red flag saying "Avoid me! because no matter what fortune comes around you, I'll wish it was mine!" it just creates a vortex of negativity. Work on it.

- Jusitn

- Justin



"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
Technologic
   
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Re: Kind of, troubled. - August 2nd 2011, 09:12 PM

Hey there! I can relate to what you're going through. Actually, I think most people can, because it's rare to find someone whose self-esteem is perfectly in tact. =P Even the "beautiful" people can find something about themselves that is "ugly"! Anyway, I wouldn't consider myself "ugly", but certainly not "beautiful". I'm a "plain Jane" as well, and for the longest time, I told myself that life would never be as fulfilling as I wanted it to be. I resigned myself to a "plain" life, based on my "plain" looks.

Guess what? The moment you stop dwelling on everything you think you can't have, and the moment you start striving for all the things you want to have, is the moment you'll begin to truly love yourself and achieve happiness. There ARE people out there who will find you attractive and want to date you - not because you're "beautiful" physically, but because the whole package is "beautiful". You are a beautiful person when you put everything together, and THAT is what really matters if you're looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship. As for friends, yeah, you may not be the most "beautiful" physically, but you have the most "beautiful" heart out of all your friends. They all count on you to boost their self-esteem when they're having a bad day. Remember what I said earlier? EVERYONE, even the "beautiful" people, think they're ugly in some way. You are the person who can see past that "ugly" trait and tell them what you really see. They, in turn, can see past your "ugly" trait and see you for what you really are.

I'm not going to give you a long pep talk, because I've found that many people won't believe me when I try to convince them they're "beautiful". If you're not ready to hear the truth, then nothing anyone says will change your mind. Instead, you have to change your OWN mind. YOU have to realize that you deserve love and happiness, and that YOU can achieve that! Like Justin says, it helps to focus on how happy you are for others (and for yourself) instead of focusing on how jealous you are of others (or how sad you are for yourself). Happy people attract other happy people, and good things come to those who do good things. Focus on being the person you want to be, vs. the person you are not.





   
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