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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Name: Cheyenne Sollars
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I feel like a failure. - August 8th 2011, 07:52 PM

My mother is a workaholic, often staying late at her job, or going to work on her days off in order to stay away from the house. She gives so much of her money to her grown children and deadbeat boyfriend that we barely have enough to support the two of us. I feel like I can't say anything about my frustrations because every time I do, someone tells her and she starts crying. It makes me feel horrible. It seems like I have noone to talk to. Am I a bad person because of this? My mother and sister both act as though i'm a living diary, ranting on and on about other family members and expecting me to sympathise with them.

Sorry for the complainy rant thingamagig :-/ I needed to get that out.
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Re: I feel like a failure. - August 8th 2011, 09:53 PM

Don't be sorry, I can see why you're frustrated.
I think you should talk to your mum about it directly. If she hears it from other people she may feel as if she's.. being ganged up on, or something. Just calmly mention that you're feeling quite stressed out, and you're worrying about money.
Maybe you should try things like going for a walk, running, or just getting out to lift your mood?
I hope you feel better soon.

"Everytime you smile, I smile
And everytime you shine, I'll shine for you."
~Taylor Swift

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Re: I feel like a failure. - August 9th 2011, 06:00 PM

Welcome to TeenHelp! =)

I imagine your mom is just as frustrated with this situation as you are. I mean, she's working all the time, and she can't even support herself and her dependent child. Instead, all that money is going to people who SHOULD be able to support themselves, but aren't. Whenever she hears that you are unhappy, she cries, because it's a reminder that things aren't as they're supposed to be.

I agree with the previous poster. Talk to your mom directly, and explain that you don't hate her, but you DO hate the circumstances and wish they could change. Be honest, and I mean brutally honest, about how this situation isn't fair and needs to be changed. Support your mom, show her you love her, but be firm in stating that you two need that money, not three adults who are perfectly capable of getting jobs and supporting themselves. Encourage your mom to confront all three and give them an ultimatum, at which point she will stop providing for them and will use that money to take care of herself and you. You could also encourage your mom to cut back on work hours or cut back on how much money she gives them, so she can set aside more time and money for the two of you.

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