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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Question Is it normal to have no friends? - August 11th 2011, 07:31 PM

At school I joke with everyone and make everyone laugh now. No one hates me any more, most people seem to like me. However, I have no friends. I do not belong to a friendship group. Instead I wonder school alone and spent bracks in the library. It is not like I am mean of anything. I just can't seem to get a group of friends. I have been like this for about 4 years :L My questions are: 1) is this normal? 2) how would I go about getting friends?
   
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Re: Is it normal to have no friends? - August 11th 2011, 07:38 PM

Hmmm... Is it normal? I'm not sure, I've never understood the term normal. To answer your question, I would advise you not to worry if it is normal, but to think about if you are happy with the current situation or not. How does it make you feel, and is that what you want?

I understand what you're going through, I've experienced it too various times throughout school. I say if you want to meet people, put yourself out there! Open up to other people and let them know who you are. You can make jokes, and be casual, but that's all it will be. Start a conversation with someone, start off casually and then work into talking about interests, current events, etc. That's usually how I've made acquaintances.. And once you get to know each other, ask to hang out and stuff. It's a lot less complicated than I've made it sound, I promise lol

But the basic message is put yourself out there, and see what happens.


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Re: Is it normal to have no friends? - August 11th 2011, 07:41 PM

Hey there, to answer your first questions. I don't know if it's normal to not have friends. But I can't imagine it being very fun or pleasant. As for your second question. How to make friends. You say that you make people laugh, so obviously people are fond of you. I would start talking to people that you make laugh. Have a real conversation with them. Engage with people other than making them laugh. Also, invite people over for a little get together at your house. Another good way to make friends is through clubs or sports. If you're into making people laugh, then drama club or leadership club might be an excellent club for you to join. Aside from making people laugh, put yourself out there more. Talk to people and get to know them. Form bonds. Take care<3


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Re: Is it normal to have no friends? - August 11th 2011, 08:05 PM

I've been that way most of my life. I have people I hang out with at school. But they don't call me, text me, or go out of their way to see me outside of school. I haven't had a best friend in four years.
   
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Question Re: Is it normal to have no friends? - August 11th 2011, 08:13 PM

Thanks for the advice guys I kind of get to the common intrests stage, and a few people have my number, but nothing comes after? I don't mind it. I just think having friends and doing things would make me happier?
   
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Re: Is it normal to have no friends? - August 11th 2011, 09:59 PM

I'm this kind of person, and it's actually by choice. I had a slew of awful friendships, and I find that I am happier when my friendships aren't too close. I'm also a homebody, though, so if you're the type that likes to go out and such, this would be a problem.

If you want to make closer friends, put yourself out there, and be open and receptive to anything (well... not anything, but you know what I mean) and anyone. You never know who you might find and what you might have in common with them.




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Re: Is it normal to have no friends? - August 13th 2011, 12:34 AM

I understand completely. I was like this for the last half of school last year and prob will be for a while with this next school year. I HAD friends but they became distant and I became on my own. It never stopped being hard. I always wished my best friend was able to go to school with be because I knew then I wouldnt be alone and i'd be happy again. Like you, I got along with people and sometimes made people laugh. But these people were not friends, they were just other classmates. Outside class, most of them didn't give me a second look. Anyways, I wanted to tell you that I could relate to what you were going through and I don't know if its normal to be without friends but I know that there are many people in our position. What is normal anyway?


   
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Re: Is it normal to have no friends? - August 13th 2011, 12:51 AM

I'm not sure if i would call it normal, but normal is hard to define. I mean most people have a group of friends, but then again as house says "normal is not normal".

I'm like you. People don't necessarily hate me anymore, but i have very few, if any genuine friends. I'm hoping to start over in college. I don't really like the idea of cliques, but i hope i'll find some people i know i can rely on.

You aren't alone.
   
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Re: Is it normal to have no friends? - August 16th 2011, 06:06 AM

First of all, there are many other people on this world who have no friends. I sometimes consider myself as having no friends. So you aren't alone, trust me
And secondly, go up to people who you feel are like you and then just make casual conversation with them. Small steps can lead to a great friendship


"And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they canít ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if itís already happened."
-Douglas Coupland
   
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