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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Angry searched - August 12th 2011, 12:36 AM

Ok wasn't really sure where to post this but I guess this is closest.

So the other day my sister came home and found suicide note in my room. I got mad and we had a fight. Two days after that I babysat and I came home to find that my room had been searched. Every single drawer had been emptied, all of my books confiscated, my ipod taken, and all of my school notebooks gone. This would have been bad enough but then they decided to bring up my art. They had taken all of my sketch pads and tore out the pages that they found "inappropriate" they had also taken my journals. I don't know if this is just me but I consider my sketch pad to be sacred, I never tear stuff out. I don't know if I am just over reacting but I was so angry when I found out they had done this to me. I tried to explain how I felt but they won't listen to me and said that I "didn't need those reminders of the past." I'm just so frustrated with them right now I can barely stand to be in the same room with them.
I don't know how to get them to understand.
   
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Re: searched - August 12th 2011, 01:31 AM

What they understand is that you are currently, or have previously, contemplated suicide. Place yourself in your family members' shoes for a moment, and imagine how worried, scared, and helpless they must be feeling right now. If you thought your child or sibling was going to commit suicide, what would you do? What steps would you take to prevent that from happening? Now, I'm not saying rooting through your room is what they SHOULD be doing, but maybe they don't know what they CAN do to help. Why not talk to them about how you're feeling? Perhaps you could all consider seeing a family therapist, or at least talking to someone one-on-one with your parents' support. The sketchbooks aren't the *real* problem in this situation. The suicidal thoughts, and whatever drove you to develop those thoughts, are the problem.





   
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Re: searched - August 12th 2011, 02:22 AM

I completely understand why you would be upset, and i do think that your families actions are a tad on the extreme side. However, they probably only want what's best for you and this is what they think will help. I think it would have been best if they had talked to you first. I know i would be devastated if they took my journals or artwork. Sometimes writing and making art are some of the best outlets. Maybe you could try talking to them again, explain that avoiding the past isn't going to help either. I feel for you. I really do. I end up hiding most of my stuff. Stay Strong. PM me if you want to talk
   
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Re: searched - August 12th 2011, 03:28 AM

I can see how they would come to the conclusion that searching my room was a good idea, the issue I have is that they tore up my sketchpad. They also have decided that sending me to college is a bad idea so two weeks before I move in they cancel my enrollment. I know being suicidal is a bad thing but I fail to see how what they are doing to me could be considered helpful in any way!
   
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Re: searched - August 12th 2011, 03:10 PM

Hey there,

I understand how you are feeling. I would feel the same way you are now if someone did that to me. Unfortunately the deed is done, and there is no coming back from it. When everything has cooled off, my suggestion is you talk to your family. Tell them what made you upset and that your sketch pad was a coping mechanism for you. I would also tell them why your suicidal and what the BEST way for them to help you is. They are probably scared and confused for you. So I think it would be beneficial for them to know these things. They know you're suicidal, so they're going to want to monitor you and keep a close eye. I would calmly ask if you could have your things back. They might want to know what you write and draw, but that will pass.

I would look at not being able to move and having to get rid of your sketch book as a new start. Sure, both things really suck, but think of this as a start to recovery. Since you're not moving, get help for yourself. Allow yourself to heal before starting college. I was suicidal and in college, and let me tell you- it made things a thousand times worse. I was stressed all the time and it just made my depression that much worse. Which is why I'm now taking a break and just working. I moved out of my house because that was a trigger for me. As far as a new sketch pad goes, maybe sketch/draw pictures that inspire you to recover or inspire you in general. Draw things that give you hope. I'm all for self expression. Its a really theraputic and can help a lot.

Along side of all this, make sure you're getting yourself help. I know that it can be really, really hard to talk to people about how you're feeling inside and why you feel that way, but it gets easier. For me, I like to write things out and hand it to my mom or my counselor or whoever. It just takes effort. My main point is: don't bottle things up, have a go to person who you can vent to. Because trust me, it helps tons. Do you have a friend or a trusted adult you can talk to? If so, maybe try opening up a little bit to them.

Anyways, despite me going off topic, I hope this helped even a little.
Take good care of yourself.<3


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