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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Naomi. Offline
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used...socially incompetant - March 16th 2009, 10:26 PM

urgh i feel so used
it seems like the only time people wanna talk to me is if they want something...anything

and also i always am worried im gonna make a reet fool outa myself if i ever talk to someone
and if they ask if im ok i know they want the answer fine so i say it but i so hate lying...urgh

its such a mess

i have drifted away from everyone but now i am alone...



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Re: used...socially incompetant - March 16th 2009, 11:32 PM

Hi Naomi,

This kind of thing is always a two way street. It's hard, but you've got to pluck up the courage to talk to people. Find out what some other people are interested in and start there. They will be able to speak more freely. Let them know a bit about yourself and what you are into as well. Just get a good conversation going and those people will know you aren't just about getting things. Don't worry about making a fool of yourself- just be yourself. If they don't like you for who you are, then they aren't worth your time.

Try to come up with some creative responses to the 'How are you feeling?' question if you don't like lying. My teacher came up with a good answer to it because he absolutely hates that question. He likes to respond with 'Good enough' whenever someone asks. Then it's not really lying because you're still saying something about yourself. You may not want to use that one, but I'm sure there are others.

You really aren't alone! I'm always around if you want to talk, so don't worry about messaging me, okay?

Nat.


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Re: used...socially incompetant - March 17th 2009, 02:02 AM

Be neutral. Don't talk much unless you feel absolutely comfortable. Don't worry about your social standing just sit back and relax. When people talk to you talk normally don't try to impress them or make jokes.

Everyone likes a person who is neutral. After becoming neutral you can look further into being the person you want to be.
   
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Re: used...socially incompetant - March 17th 2009, 02:12 AM

hey Naomi.

one advice that i'm going to give you is that, when people talk to you ONLY when they need something, this means that they're not even friends . They are AS FAR AWAY from friends as can possibly be because they're only looking to get something out of talking to you

always remember that true friends never ask for anything. they just want friendship, companionship (and maybe some choc ) and happy memories together, and stuff I'm sure you can find people like that. And dont ever doubt yourself, because i know you're a wonderful person.

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Re: used...socially incompetant - March 17th 2009, 05:13 PM

hey guys
thanks for that
i know they arent real friends but its all i have!
im gonna try...stuff
its so good to have a site where everyone is nice
thanks xox



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Re: used...socially incompetant - March 17th 2009, 05:25 PM

Just get a good friend... Just one.. Thats all you really need... Once you get them you can tell the truth when they ask if something is wrong... you can tell them every thing that is bothering you and they wont judge you or use you.. Sometimes one good friend is alot better than a hundred "friends"... PM me if you every need one good friend.. Im always here if you need to talk.. =D
   
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Re: used...socially incompetant - March 17th 2009, 05:32 PM

Hey Naomi, i just wanted to say that you're definitely not alone in feeling like this. I've gone through times where i feel that people are only being nice to me to get to other people or because they want something. Feeling like second best to people is never nice. What i've come to realise is, you can't please everyone. Sometimes you've just gotta step out and make your own decisions and not worry about what other people are going to say or think.

Just live your life how you want and those of your friends who are true will stick around. I'm a firm believer that it's great to get on with everyone and not rock the boat, however, having a few closer friends who you know you can rely on is better than having a dozen two faced friends.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
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