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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Katie Lydia Offline
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eh wtf? - August 25th 2011, 09:55 PM

As i'm leaving for college in three days my friends and i went out last saturday and i'm a little ticked off. I paid for the taxi down which didn't bother me as i assumed i'd be paid back when we got in the club and they had change. I wasn't par one of my friends that paid me. Anyway after we were in the club one of my friends, let's call her Nicola said to me "You buying me a drink?" i was gobsmacked. I just paid for the whole taxi, you haven't paid me back and your asking me to buy you a drink? I told her i would if she bought me one but she kept saying "later later". So i stupidly bought the drinks an hour later as she kept nagging at me! I kept giving her cigarettes as she apparantly only smokes when she's drinking, i must have gave her about 10 that night. This was MY leaving night out and i was buying her drinks?! Don't get me wrong i'm not cheap and i buy a round as everyone else does but to actually be nagged to buy her a drink? She had some fucking cheek.

Anyway another friend of ours is having a leaving night and i posted on the facebook event that "i'd make sure she was there as she owed me big time haha". Next minute she's asking me why she apparantly owes me and i told her and her reply was. "Get fucked!"

Was this meant as a joke or what?
I hate fighting over money but i'll happily pay for my half of whatever but i'm not taking on the whole bill. I really want my money, it's not much but it's the fact that i do not want to be taken advantage of and ye it may only be a few pounds but it's a few pounds that would be put to good use!

I replied to her jokingly "Right back at ye bitch!". I've yet to get a reply but i'm really pissed. #@/.,!!!?:'#!!!


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Re: eh wtf? - August 26th 2011, 01:58 AM

Hi Katie.

I guess only she knows whether she was joking or not. Perhaps you should ask her in a serious message rather than just bantering with her.

It's understandable that you are pissed off, I would be too. A similar thing happened at my birthday - no one had any cash so I ended up buying the drinks. They then conveniently 'forgot' to pay me back and I felt it was rude to remind them.

No one likes to be taken advantage of and it would seem that that's definitely what happened to you that night. I suggest that in future you be a lot more stubborn and simply refuse to give in and buy the drinks. I can see why you would if someone is nagging you, plus on a night out you just want to have fun so you do things to keep everything running smoothly. However, if people want a drink or cigarette that badly, they will have to get it themselves. You're not a freaking charity.

Next time, don't give any of them the opportunity to owe you money, if you know there's a chance they won't pay you back. When you book the taxi, ask everyone if they've got money to pay for it and don't book one 'til they have. Before you get to the venue, stop off at a cash machine so that nobody will have an excuse not to buy their own drinks. And if this girl (or anyone else) starts nagging you for drinks, remind her of what happened last time and that she needs to get her own! Plus, she still owes you a drink!

Take care.

J. x


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Re: eh wtf? - August 26th 2011, 02:32 AM

Since you arranged the get-together at the club, it's fair you pay the taxi fare as well as the first round of drinks. I wouldn't expect to get paid back for that, no chance at all. As for subsequent drinks and food, it's fair if you pay for it or if they do. I think this depends on whether or not they actually have money with them. However, you're not a walking cigarette box for free use, so any cigarettes and whatever else is not your duty to pay. Your friend is way out in left-field if she thinks otherwise.

As for your friend's FaceBook responses, I find them very prudish. Assuming she wasn't INITIALLY joking, after you told her to "get fucked", I think it's reasonable for her to stop any joking and explain herself as you obviously aren't understand the joke (assuming there is one).


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Re: eh wtf? - August 26th 2011, 03:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man And XX Master View Post
Since you arranged the get-together at the club, it's fair you pay the taxi fare as well as the first round of drinks. I wouldn't expect to get paid back for that, no chance at all. As for subsequent drinks and food, it's fair if you pay for it or if they do. I think this depends on whether or not they actually have money with them. However, you're not a walking cigarette box for free use, so any cigarettes and whatever else is not your duty to pay. Your friend is way out in left-field if she thinks otherwise.

As for your friend's FaceBook responses, I find them very prudish. Assuming she wasn't INITIALLY joking, after you told her to "get fucked", I think it's reasonable for her to stop any joking and explain herself as you obviously aren't understand the joke (assuming there is one).
It really wasn't arranged it was more of a "Hey i'm going out on saturday as it's my last night out before college, you comin? So and so is gonna be there.."

I don't agree with you, i'm only 18 but have been lucky enough to get into clubs at 15 onwards, everytime i'm out we either by rounds or put in a "kitty", basically someone holds our money together and buys the drinks. Same in getting to the club, i'll pay my share but why should i pay theirs? I'm not forcing them to come, they organised it and wanted to come.
Sorry if that sounded patronizing but i have no clue where your from and if they do that where you live!

How would you feel if it was your birthday and had a group of 6 with you in a restaraunt and you organised it or even if you didn't and they stuck you with the bill? All because it was "your" night.

Also here you don't come go for a night out with no money, that's plain rude as it shows that your not going to pay for a round or whatever and other people will buy you yours to be polite? No way josé! I'd feel mortified if i went to a club and had no money, i'm not saying you need to have a couple hundred in your purse, i only had £70 with me on saturday, some only had £40 but we all chipped in expect her and my other friend who to be fair is a bit of an airhead and has only been to a nightclub once before, not an excuse but i KNOW she will pay up when i ask her.

It's obviously different for you but here the only time that that person doesn't have to pay if they don't want to is on special occasions. Yes it was my leaving night and i would have happily bought a round of drinks or put in £20 for the kitty but why should i be forced into buying someone a drink, i would have bought a round when i got to the bar for myself. I'm not cheap or stingy, i'm all for putting in my fair share but it kinda took the piss on saturday as this was a leaving do being thrown for me?

There was another girl that didn't pay me or buy anyone drinks apart from herself and i will talk to her but she is the kind of person to go "Oh shit sorry, here ya go.", not tell me to get fucked which is immature for an 18yr old who thinks she's in her late twenties and "been there and done that".

I'm probably coming across as a spoilt kid that doesn't like to share, on the contrary, i don't mind passing out a cigarette but everytime i went to the smoking area for one she followed me and literally held out her hand to give me one. It's partly my fault because i let them which is something i need to work on but i hate hate hate discussing money with friends, it's a very dangerous area sometimes.

Apologies if this doesn't make sense as its 4:13am and i'm sleep deprived. x


Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acid stains you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live.


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Re: eh wtf? - August 26th 2011, 03:14 PM

I think that's insanely rude! I would never go to a club without any cash on me, and if I did have to borrow some money, I'd be really embarrassed about it and offer to pay it back as soon as I could! Whenever my friends and I go out, we split the cab, and everyone buys their own drinks (a difference in culture maybe?) But I've been in your shoes once before. I got stuck with the taxi bill and was more than a little frustrated. Most people would just be like "oh yeah, sorry here's my share" but some people unfortunately are cheep. If I were you I'd mention it to your other friends about the taxi, and hope for the best. But your other friend sounds a bit immature if that's how she's going to act. I'd say the next time you're out you "forget" you're cigarettes, and wait for her to buy the first round and if she's still a pest, maybe she isn't the best person to go to the club with

Hope this helps,
Megan


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