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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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SouthernBelle. Offline
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Name: Anna
Gender: Female
Location: West Virginia, US

Posts: 1,056
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Join Date: November 30th 2010

I have issues with my mom. - August 25th 2011, 10:57 PM

What the title says.

She doesn't trust me to be out of her sight for ten minutes, yet she makes me more miserable sometimes than she'll ever know. She also called my ex-boyfriend weird when I dated him, and hinted that she wanted me to break up with him, which made me feel very unhappy and eventually led to me not talking to him for a week and us breaking up -- that mess is all sorted out, now, though, and me and my ex are talking again.

She's said before that she's afraid I'm going to hurt myself (intentionally) if she doesn't watch me every minute of the day, that she's not sure whether I'm smart enough to not do drugs if she isn't around to keep me out of it, and constantly criticizes the way I dress if even one hair is out of place or if my makeup slips even a bit.

I feel like my teenage years are being wasted. She won't let me go anywhere, and then criticizes me for not doing anything (football games and such) and being like everyone else -- and when I point out that she won't let me go anywhere without her, she stops listening and accuses me of back-talking her. I've even offered to let her come with me the first few times I go to a friend's house, so she can talk to their parents, and she still won't.

And don't say that I should just let her come with me, because she criticizes my friends the moment they're out of sight.

I'm not allowed to walk around our 72-acre farm alone, either. Which I wouldn't mind and would understand, if she'd let me go elsewhere. I mean, this is my home! She should at least let me go around my own home! But she won't, because I'm supposedly 'just a girl' and could 'get killed' and they'd 'never even know about it'. She won't even take into consideration that I'm willing to learn how to use a gun.

And if all that isn't bad, I think she found an old letter I'd planned to give to a girl that I used to like ages ago under my bed, and I'll be lucky if she don't shout my ear off when she gets home from work.

I feel like a waste of space. She nags and criticizes me all the time, has all these crazy rules, and still expects me not to be sarcastic and back-talk her decisions. I'm fifteen years old, dammit! I need a life, but how can she understand that, when she has no life of her own!? Even she admits that when she was a teenager, she was allowed to go fishing and go to visit her friends' houses without her mother -- and yet she still won't let me?!

I just don't understand this.

I need someone to talk to. I want a family therapist or something. She's uber-controlling, and I have no say in it. Even my dad has begun to notice that me and my mom don't get along, and that some things my mom says to me are completely unfair.

Just last night, he told her to stop snapping at me, because I was just asking where everything was because she put all the stuff in the bathroom in different drawers. And about two weeks ago, he let me stand with him in the mall and calmed me down and admitted that my mom was overreacting and trying to force me to do things I didn't want to and to take more allergy medicine when I didn't need it. I spent the rest of the day with him and his sister, my aunt Wanda, because I couldn't stand my mom.

My mom had to take me shopping not once, not twice, but three times to successfully buy any school clothes at all. Each time, she had little patience, and I'd end up telling her that I wanted to go home because she'd try to take me inside stores that I didn't like and knew I didn't like.

Could somebody please tell me what to do? Or perhaps how to bring up the topic of family counselling (mainly for my mother and me) to my mother? I just can't take this crap anymore. People have stopped inviting me to visit, to football games, and to parties because everyone knows my mom won't let me come with them. All of my friends who have met my mother call her crazy.

Help, please?

Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.

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Justsmile Offline
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Name: Justsmile
Age: 22
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Re: I have issues with my mom. - August 26th 2011, 01:29 AM

Aha. Same thing with me! But I really don't know how to help. :/ Sorry.
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issues, mom

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