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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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i feel torn ... - March 17th 2009, 02:55 PM

i dont know what to do anymore how is it i can advise others yet i dont ever know what to do in my own life...?

problem 1 Friends : ment to be going out with my mate for her bday saturday night i cant really afford to go for one and another thing is its gona be people i dont know and people i dont like and i dont really want to go but shes my best friend plus ive got a long day at work and im gona have to rush round to get ready and i dont wana have to do that

Problem 2 family : my nan looks after mt cousin once a week she cant handle it very well anymore i went to help her the other week and i swore i wasnt gona do it everyweek anyway as it happens ive not been able to go cos of other commitments but shes asked me to go with her cos she needs the help really and my auntie has said shes worried my nans struggling and asked about me going again but im spose to be meeting a friend on that day cos shes back from uni but i did go out with her last week and she'll be back again in a few weeks ...i dont know what to do i didnt wana end up doing it every week but now i feel i should?
   
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Re: i feel torn ... - March 17th 2009, 03:01 PM

1. try telling your friend how you feel about the other people that are going, and suggest doing something with her later to make up for missing her party. and if youre busy that day, tell her that, too.

2. personally, i would choose helping out my family over seeing a friend. if she's coming back in a few weeks, you can see her then.
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Re: i feel torn ... - March 17th 2009, 04:33 PM

Hey there. Sorry that you've been struggling with this kind of thing lately. I know iti can be hard juggling both friends and family at the same time.

As for your first issue, if you really don't feel like going, tell your friend that your schedule has been so extremely booked, and that unfortunately it's going to be really hard for you to make it to the event on time, but that you want to do something with her to celebrate her birthday maybe the day after or something. Just make it clear to her that it's not that you don't have time for her, but just that you're having a hard time with your schedule and don't exactly have time for anything that night.

As for the second issue, I really think that your friend would understand if you told her you were having family issues and needed to take care of them. After all, you did go out with her last week, and you say you will see her again in a few weeks, so your obligation to your family is a bit bigger under the circumstances.

Good luck with everything. x





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Re: i feel torn ... - March 17th 2009, 06:00 PM

I have the same issue! i know just what advice to give other people, but when i have my own problems, i'm stumped! try writing the issue down as if it was happening to someone else. for example-
My problem = oh no, i like johnny, but i'm not sure if he likes me! how should i find out?
Written as someone else's problem = Sarah likes johnny, but she isn't sure if he likes her, how should she figure it out?

Then it should be easier to decide what you should do.
hope this helps!!



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Re: i feel torn ... - March 18th 2009, 01:36 AM

It is socially correct to help out your family before friends. Help your family, and if your friend doesn't understand she is the one at fault.
   
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