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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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mojojojo198 Offline
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Fake friends and moving - August 31st 2011, 08:15 PM

I've lived in this place for nearly 7 years, grown up here and made loads of friends here. I always thought they were true friends, if not all of them, then at least a few of them but I just found I'm moving and I'm torn up about it. I told all my friends and most of them didn't care despite them knowing they would probably never see me again. Only 2 or 3 were actually upset and comforting. I just always thought I had better friends.
   
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NevermindMe Offline
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Re: Fake friends and moving - September 2nd 2011, 04:25 PM

Well, to be honest no matter how old we get we all have two types of friends:
1. Real friends
2. Playmates

Honestly, your true friends are sad, and missing you, but your playmates were just people to have fun with for a little while. Some people genuinely touch our lives, and others just hang around. I mean you can't change it.

Another thought could be that your friends aren't the kinds of people who willing show emotions in public. Or they just don't bond with friends easily. My best friend moved away two years ago, but I didn't feel sad, and I didn't really care. If one person is sad, it only makes it harder for everyone. And I could always make new friends. I mean being sad about it wouldn't acomplish anything, and to be honest it would just make my friend feel lousy about having to move.

So yes, I understand this being hard on you. I also understand missing your friends, but you have to realize they are grappling with feelings right now, or they were just fun while they were around.

Moving is great. You aren't placed at a social status, and any screw-ups you've had in seven years are long forgotten. You are a fresh person, and you can easily change who you appear to be. It's an amazing opprotunity that you can easily enjoy if you aren't too caught up in what you left behind.

My family moved around a lot up until I was eight. I've lived in seven homes in five cities, so I totally get leaving old homes behind. But honestly, after a year or two you reattach yourself to your new home, And you are once again totally happy.

- Justin



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Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
Technologic
   
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Re: Fake friends and moving - September 2nd 2011, 05:33 PM

Hey there,

I have to agree with everything Justin said, completely. It sucks that some friends that you really cared about weren't too sad to find out that you're moving, but what else can you do? You can't change that fact. You just have to roll with the punches. You know? At least now you know who your true friends are, the ones that you'll be keeping in touch with. If the other friends don't see to care, then why should you? I would focus your energy on creating new friends and keeping in touch with the ones that care. To keep in touch, phone calls, emails, visits here and there, etc. It's going to be a little hard, and a little sucky, but it won't feel crappy forever.

Moving can be extremely difficult, because you have all these things to worry about. How you're going to make friends, keeping the old, fitting in, etc. You could look at moving being hard, or you can look at moving as a fresh start. Making friends might be hard at first, but you'll make friends. Why not join a club or a sport that pertains to your interests? That's how I made some of my friends. Also, to get friends, you have to put yourself out there. You have to talk to people and get to know them. We can't expect friends to be served to us on a silver platter. You have to be willing to work for them. Just strike up a conversation with people. Get to know them. Find some common ground. It sounds a little daunting, but everything will be fine.


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Veni Vidi Vici Offline
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Re: Fake friends and moving - September 3rd 2011, 07:59 AM

I'm really sorry about this, but this is where you realize who your true friends are.. This has happened to me too, and I was also surprised at who actually cared enough to say goodbye in person.

Let's just say, like justin mentioned, that most of our friends just serve as playmates (people who enjoy spending time with you/pass time with you). Your REAL friends would be the people who actually care about you as a person. Yes, they are hard to find, but truly worth it.

Just be glad you got rid of those 'fake' friends, and discovered who's really dear to you. I'm sure you'll keep in touch with those that cared about you leaving, and meet them again eventually in life. This isn't a permanent goodbye, just a temporary one!


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Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, I saw, I conquered -Julius Caesar
   
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