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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Finch Offline
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Unhappy feel unwanted and laft out (sorry, its long) - August 31st 2011, 10:17 PM

sorry about the bad grammar, i typed it quickly

right, one of the people im ‘frineds’ with is having a party at her house tomorrow night. people in my social circle often have these and without sounding big headed im almost always invited unless they know i cant go for some reason, because im in the circle, have been since the beginning. i havent been asked tomorrow night and its really hurt me, one because ive done nothing at all to the girl and even been quite nice to her, i got her a bracelet when i went on holiday and stuff because i thought she was genuinely a nice person. it stung because ALL my best friends are going, and people she doesnt even know that well and ive been left. and people are creeping around behind my back about it not mentioning it on purpose, the only reason i know is because my friend asked me if i was going because she expected me to have been asked. my best friend is coming clean to me about it now and it hurts, i feel im always the one that doesnt quite fit in and is left behind.
its probably because i had a slight fall out with this other girl who alsways goes on about how i ‘copy’ her just because she has doc martins and i want some and how we both like the same sort of music (not radiohead, theyre mine.) and i did a stupid face and she was bitching about it saying i want to be her and stuff and i know she talks behind my back. she probably convinced the girl whos party it is not to invite me.
some of them are such bitches sometimes its unreal, this probably sounds pathetic now but i feel like shit because of it, unwanted and left out. i dont even know if id go if i was asked, its the fact that theyre being so secretive about it that hurts
at least i know who my real friends are now. theres about 5 within the group of 20 or so.
i feel like shit, like they all hate me and laugh about me behind my back.
im pathetic.
   
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Re: feel unwanted and laft out (sorry, its long) - September 1st 2011, 05:18 AM

If these so-called friends of yours are so shallow that they feel a slight disagreement warrants leaving you out of their plans intentionally, then they're not really your friends. Adding to this the fact that you say that they're mean and talk behind other peoples' backs, they may not be all that pleasant to hang out with anyway.

You say that there are about five of them who you consider to be good friends. At this point, it might be best for you to cut your losses and take these people as your true friends. Drama happens, and it's a fact of life for most people, but there's no reasonable excuse as to why it should make everyone else exclusionary towards you.

You're not pathetic. The people who think that a small disagreement should lead to such a ridiculous overreaction on their part are the ones who are being pathetic.


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Re: feel unwanted and laft out (sorry, its long) - September 2nd 2011, 06:43 AM

You're being self-indulgent by complaining you weren't IMMEDIATELY invited to a party. The fact you weren't invited to one party doesn't mean you no longer have a friendship with that person. People have be grumpy for a little bit after you ruffled their feathers, even if the argument was about something nonsensical and moronic. It's purely speculative whether this girl had anything to do with you not being invited, however, even if she did, it sounds minor since you assert you go to many parties.

It doesn't seem like your friends are talking behind you back since you said they thought you were invited, so it doesn't seem all of them are intentionally being secretive. They were acting like they usually do under the impression you were invited.

I fail to understand how you claim you feel you're the one who is always left out and behind. At the start of your post you said you're invited to every single party by your party-loving friends, which means you're not left out because if you truly were left out, you wouldn't be asked to go to a single party. You're over-reacting not just on this part but on the rest, such as speculating the new girl carried out her devious plan to not get you invited.


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