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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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justshootme Offline
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Long story: I don't know what to think anymore. - September 5th 2011, 09:33 AM

I don't know where to start I am so mind fucked here, and I have no idea what to do anymore. I can't even think for myself anymore. I'll start with me lying part and work my way down. Okay, last month my boyfriend and I went to Disneyland because I asked him, and I wanted to make some memories with him other than going to his every week (lol). Note he's 21 and I'm 19 years old. Now on to the lying part. I did not tell my mother about going to Disneyland 'cause I knew she was going to say no, and get mad about it like the other times i've asked in the past.

About 6 days ago I told her about going to Disneyland, and that I lied to her. She said this "You are not seeing your boyfriend for a month." I said; "Okay, that's fine." I went up stairs to sleep and I got up at 1p,and I came down stairs to talk to her about the whole thing. I told I was very sorry for going and for lying like that, and I should've of told her. She gets mad and pretty much freaks out. She changed her mind, she said; I want meet his parents first, and then we'll go from there. She hasn't met his parents because we've been waiting to get a year, we actually just started planning them meeting. He wanted his dad to be there, but his dad is always working. She wouldn't respect the fact to just wait, and just wait. We both really wanted them to meet, and then it changed. She said I don't want anything to do with him, or his family. Like wtf did his family do to her? Then it changed, wait a month and we'll go from there, and it hasn't changed since.

Anyway, she said a fucked up to me and my siblings that when I was sick as a baby (I was born with a heart problem), she couldn't do anything for them, like play with them, teach them things, and etc. And all of the money that went for paying bills didn't go to them at all, so she was pretty blaming me for that. She made it clear too. She told me twice!


Then later on I sat down with her again to talk about everything like fucking adults, she told me that she knows that my boyfriend and I has been having sex, and then she said that he's taking advantage of me, and he's paying me in his own way for sex. She told me to marry someone who is rich. I said, if I ever do I better love him. She agreed. I love my boyfriend, and he's willing to get me anything I want, but I don't 'cause I feel bad for him spending money one me. I don't even like her spending money on me.

but it gets better. I got with him and she was fine with him buying me things, and taking me out, and then it changed around Christmas and she knew about us having sex at that time but did not tell me. He got me a blanket and some gummy warms lol, not much I know but oh well. Anyway, I told her what he got me and she was like how dare you even tell him that you wanted a blanket. For one, I didn't tell him to get me a blanket. And two, he knew how fucking cold it was in my room 'cause he has slept with me in the room. Not like sex slept, but fallen asleep, but he has stayed over 3 times. Later on I felt bad him getting me things because of her, and about a month later it changed again. She was calling him cheap and telling me he's not worth it that he can't afford me. LOL My mother said if he's not making enough money to afford me, then you need to dump him. I can't remember but the first part is what she said, but the last part I don't know. Now remember she has known we've been having sex.

If she knew about this then why didn't she tell me? How is he paying in his own way to pay for sex when she's the one who has been telling me to tell him to take me out, and etc. It's very confusing, isn't it? And doesn't it sound like she's calling me a whore? Well, she did tell me I was trash and he was trash. The guy I've been fucking is trash so that makes me a whore. She said she has no respect for me because I slept with him....because he's a low life, and he's trash. She told me that she never liked him from the start, yet she'd say really good things about him. She even said when I first met him that she liked him and he was a cute kid, and etc. I guess this was all bullshit. LOL So she's been lying from the start about him which is a lot worse than lying about going to disneyland, and then actually coming forward about it.

I don't think my boyfriend is taking advantage of me at all. I do know he cares about me, and that he loves me. If he was taking advantage of he would've given up by now, and tell me this is not worth it. Right? He's staying me, he's telling me don't worry. We'll get through this. My boyfriend has had my back since the start, since we were fucking friends. He has never disrespected me when I was friends with him, and even now. I am not giving up on him. I know he cares about my health, and about my family. I would leave the room to help my mom, and I would come back and he would ask is she alright? We do have little fights, but not like bad fights. we did have a bad fight and that was the morning I told my mom. We both go upset about everything, but other than that it's been really good. I have so much fun with him. I love being around him. He makes me calm and chill, and happy. So happy! I love it. I'm not giving up on that so I can stay here and get shit, and have my mother say hateful things to me. Seeing him every week is what keeps me sane sometimes. This man has a wonderful family and he's wonderful to them, and he's wonderful to me. He doesn't get paid a lot, he could, but it's way too much work for him right now. We're both lazy and I can't work though, I truly believe if we do fucking work together, and I think we'll have a good life. There was time we thught our lives were going to change, and we both got serouis about it, mostly him. But right now I just want it us having fun, and just chilling. No worries, no drama, right now it's not worth it. We'll get at that point of are lives when we have to. But my mother is making the drama for us.

I told my mom there's no way I'm breaking up with him unless it's me who actually wants to do, and I don't. I also told her that I have that right, and she said that I don't, and then she said something about family. I said let's don't fight because I had a feeling she was going to say, it's the family or him. At 19 and I'm just trying to have fun here, and she might make me pick my family or him. That's fucked up. LOL, it's like does it really have to get that point? I mean, is he hurting our feeling, no? infact he has saved my family's ass. Yes, you heard right.

We have a car that's beaten up and it has gone 3 times on us, and we'd have to rent a car and the only way getting there was in another city. When the car would break down my mom went right to me and asked can he help? Can he takes us and rent a car? He has no said no. My sis and I were at the movies and my father couldn't get the car started. The car died finally...again, and I called my boyfriend to get my sis and I, and then go rent the car. LOL wanna know what she did? She kissed on the cheek. Yup! I'm so confused! If she knew that he's taking advantage of me why would she do that? She's really mind fucking me right now, but it's getting worse and worse every day. I can't event think for myself anymore, and I can't even stand up for myself. I have to fucking stand up for myself with my own mother. I try to stand up for him but she finds a way to him down, and me. I don't think I have any rights here anymore. I mean, she said when I told her I have the right to not break up with him or not.


After everything I'm at the point of moving out and getting my own job. I was going to wait to get my SSI, but if she keeps going at me I'm going to fucking leave. I can't take it and I can't take it with my heart. I don't make her upset, or I don't try to. Okay, I'll fuck up but that's what humans do. They fuck up. But I don't think I fucked up bad. I did said I was very sorry for lying and I meant it. I love my mother very much, but I just can't take her insulting me all the time, and just saying hateful things. My dad has my back now I guess. He's scared to even say anything to her 'cause she knows she's going to freak out, and he doesn't want her to get upset. She called my boyfriend creepy (lol), and he agreed. He only agreed because he didn't want to start it with her.

I have my dad telling me things, I have my mom telling me things, and I have my boyfriend telling me things. I have no idea what to think or say anymore. My mind is so fucked. I need to know what someone else thinks of all this. So can someone help me make sense to all of this and what I should do. I am willing to move out now. Today, after what happen again, if it gets bad again I'm out. It's not worth it anymore. I've been going this bullshit too long.
   
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bailatyvm Offline
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Re: Long story: I don't know what to think anymore. - September 5th 2011, 07:59 PM

Hey; I'm sorry. I think you need to take a break from everyone for a while and figure out what YOUR feelings are on these things, okay? I think everyone's confusing you, and you just need to be confident in your feelings so you know how to handle what they're saying to you, alright? Just take a breather.
Best of luck


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justshootme Offline
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Re: Long story: I don't know what to think anymore. - September 6th 2011, 01:17 AM

Thank you. But do you think my mom is overreacting? Do you think I have rights here? Should I feel bad if she does tell me to not see him again and I go against her word, and see him but she knows? Do you think she has the right to tell me to break up with him 'cause she's my mom? I really need help here
   
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