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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
bitesize Offline
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I'm 20; how do I stop my parents tidying my room?? - September 5th 2011, 11:24 AM

I'll be 21 in a couple of months, so this is ridiculous, but every so often I come home to find my room hoovered and all my stuff organised into boxes. How can I stop my parents doing this?? Yeah, my room is fairly messy ~ mostly because it's beyond the stage of tidying stuff away and needs to have a lot of things thrown out, which is a slow process. But why is that any of their business?? Especially because ~ and I know this makes me sound petty, but it's true ~ their own bedroom is a mess as well....a worse mess, so I can't understand what point they're trying to make to me. It's irritating; I'm private person and hate the idea of people going through my things. Also it means everything ends up where I can't find it ~ there's a bra I haven't seen since before I left on holidays two months ago, when they tidied my room again.

How do I get them not to do this?? I've tried discussing it and they know it pisses me off, but it doesn't stop them doing it. I just feel too ridiculously old for this kind of shit ~ they really have no right to be going through my things. I can't afford to move out right now, but even when I do I'm going to have to leave a lot of stuff here, and I hate the idea that they'll be going through THAT when I'm gone too. Do they do it because I'm the oldest and they're trying to retain some sort of control over my life?? Or what?? It's really getting to be a problem.

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bailatyvm Offline
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Re: I'm 20; how do I stop my parents tidying my room?? - September 5th 2011, 10:08 PM

Hm, maybe you could make a schedule for yourself for cleaning your room so that way they know it will get done but they won't feel so badly about not doing it for you while you're gone? Just a thought. I mean really you just have to get it into their heads that you really, really don't want them messing with your stuff when you're not around. You could also explain to them that something such as vacuuming is okay with you, but nothing to do with sorting. Try to figure out their reasons for cleaning your room, and try to think of ways to help the situation. good luck!!

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Re: I'm 20; how do I stop my parents tidying my room?? - September 5th 2011, 10:51 PM

Originally Posted by bitesize View Post
Do they do it because I'm the oldest and they're trying to retain some sort of control over my life??
It's possible.

Sometimes when my mum gets all anxious about me growing up and starts lecturing me on stuff like I'm a child, she'll automatically begin rearranging stuff in my room.

Or if I go away for the weekend, I'll come back to find she's tidied everything up.

I personally think it's because she has the urge to take care of me, but knows that I'm old enough not to need her to take care of me physically, so she takes care of my room instead. It may or may not be about control too.

It's likely that the same is true of your parents. They want to do stuff for you to satisfy their parental instincts... and possibly keep some control over you since you're growing up.

The only thing I can suggest is keeping it tidy yourself. If it's got to the stage where you need to start throwing things out, set a few hours aside to do so. If it's already tidy, there's nothing for them to do.

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Re: I'm 20; how do I stop my parents tidying my room?? - September 5th 2011, 11:16 PM

I'm 20; how the hell do I get my parents to tidy my room??

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