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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Sircheese Offline
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Explaining my actions - September 7th 2011, 11:54 PM

recently i have had issues with a friend as explained in a former post, which due to forum rules i can not post a link to so i will copy it here:

Before summer I made a new friend at school, and she and I became close over the summer, her dad died and I spent a lot if time talking to her and helping her get through it, school has just started again, and as have my family problems, my brother is depressed and my family always fights, because of this I havent been able to talk to her as much, and my stupid pride is stopping me from letting her help me, which she has offered to do. Its been awhile since she and I have really talked, and Im lost because she and I may not work as friends because her friends and mine are so different, she is friends with theater kids, who are often too much for me, and jocks, who due to past events i am biased against. My friends are nerds and stoners, and neither of us are close to anyone in either groups except eachother, i dont want to lose this friendship because i care about her so much but i dont know what to do

I have written a text to her trying to explain myself and i want to post it hear to see if people think it is kind sounding and not aggressive or offensive while still getting a point across

here it is:
Im sorry that i havent been talking to you in school, im not mad at you or anything, i dont have a problem with you at all, i just really dont know any of your friends at all and the ones i do know im not that fond of, its nothing against you and im not saying that theyre bad, theyre just different from the people i hang out with, im sorry if it seems like i dont care about you, and if you feel like that ill do my best to change, i just dont feel like leaving all of my friends behind, i hope you understand

does this sound alright? if not can you please help me because i do not want to offend her and lose her
   
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Re: Explaining my actions - September 8th 2011, 12:01 AM

You shouldn't have to feel like you need to give up all your friends in order to hang out with her, and vice versa. What I don't understand is why the two of you can't hang out alone, just the two of you, from time to time. If there's a birthday party or some other group event, I'm sure you can both bear to be around other people for a few hours - that's kind of what life is all about, dealing with crappy situations for the sake of obtaining something important to you, like time with a valued friend. =) Personally, I think you should tell her all of this in person, not over a text message. It'll be more meaningful that way.






   
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Re: Explaining my actions - September 8th 2011, 12:08 AM

the problem is i dont know if she even cares about me any more, and i am rather socially timid and she is very popular, meaning that she is never alone and i have a hard time asking if i can talk to her alone, i dont think i will send a text, but will instead give her a handwritten letter in class, which she recently did to explain the feeling that she had that we are growing apart
   
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