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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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S_e_a_n Offline
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Can't Decide - March 18th 2009, 05:56 AM

My parents are divorced and live very far apart. I currently live with my mom but both want me to go to college near them and I can't decide because I don't want to dissapoint either of them. On the one hand, I can't stand my mother, I'd even go so far as to say I hate her; but I have a life here and friends and I don't want to give it all up. On the other hand, I love my dad and stepmom and would feel at peace living near them. What should I do?
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Re: Can't Decide - March 18th 2009, 06:05 AM

You shouldn't think about your parents here, at all. You need to pick the college that is right for you. It may be near your mom, or your dad, or it might be in the middle, or it might be on the other side of the country. Don't base your college decision on your family or your friends. Pick the college that is right for YOU and only worry about you when it comes to this decision. Picking a college is one of the biggest decisions you'll make and time in college is some of the most important in your life.


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Re: Can't Decide - March 18th 2009, 06:10 AM

The thing about that is that I'm planning on going to a community college...
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Re: Can't Decide - March 18th 2009, 06:15 AM

You should do what will make you happy. Nobody can really tell you what to do. You have to decide if you'll be happier with your dad or mom. You can always make new friends, if you decide to live with your dad, and you can still keep in touch with your current friends. It seems like you'd be happier with your dad. If you're less stressed and happier, you'll do better in school. Just go with your gut.


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Trumpet love; Tenderlips.

"Where there is love there is life."- Mahatma Gandhi

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

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Re: Can't Decide - March 18th 2009, 12:09 PM

I agree with Brittney, go to wherever you prefer and don't pick it based soley on where it is and who it's near. Of course, it's nice to be near-ish to family but it's also nice to get away for a bit also. Maybe going away will help to improve your relationship with your mum? Because lets face is, no two people can always get on, and perhaps some time apart is what you need?


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Re: Can't Decide - March 18th 2009, 05:17 PM

Hi there Sean,

If this is about college, I really think you should do some research on the program you want to take and the programs offered at the separate colleges. Find which one suits what you want to do first and then think about where you want to stay.

Friends are an important part of school, but family is important too. I would suggest looking at the school courses first and then deciding. There are ways to stay in touch with both your friends and family when you are far away, so keep that in mind. I know that you said you hated your mom, but would you be able to stay with her while going to college? If it is absolutely unbearable to stay with her for you, then I would suggest staying with your dad and going to the college near him right away, but only if there is no way you could handle it.

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