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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
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What if they find out? - September 12th 2011, 01:06 PM

Sorry, I don't really want to be making lots of posts on here lol.

So, my dad has Alzheimer's. I recently joined Facebook and found this page called alzheimers through the eyes of a child, and it's about a girl who is in the same position as me, as her dad has Alzheimer's. She is such an inspiration! I really want to like the page and join in with the turn Facebook purple on the 21st to support the search for a cure. Problem is though, I have friends on Facebook who I haven't told about my dad. I know you can delete posts and stuff so they can't see, but I have the bug where it says can't hide minifeed or something, so things will still show up.

And if anyone was wondering, I wrote to my old teacher just to tell her my exam results and then she sent me a friend request on Facebook. So happy but again, she doesn't know about my dad. I wanted to tell her, but I didn't want her to worry about me or get upset, plus I'm not her responsibility. So basically, should I like the page? But what if my friends see?

Sorry, I know this is a stupid question lol
   
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Re: What if they find out? - September 12th 2011, 03:04 PM

Hey. I would like the page. You really shouldn't care about what they think. It's a support page and you're supporting your father's disease. Your friends should understand and if they don't, they're not really great friends. But I'm sure that they will. I was always scared to join a page when someone I knew could see it and either question me about it or make fun of me, but I got over it and decided that if it's what's important to me, then I should just do what I want to do with my Facebook. Hope I helped. x
   
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Re: What if they find out? - September 12th 2011, 03:45 PM

What are your concerns if your friends find out your dad has Alzheimer's?


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: What if they find out? - September 12th 2011, 04:55 PM

Thanks for replying.

Dr.Bobby, well, I don't know. I just don't want to be hassled and questioned. It's hard for me because during high school, I was bullied and a complete loner for 3 years. Then I had a boyfriend, but my dad had the onset of Alzheimer's. After a while, I told my boyfriend, but he didn't care or know much about it. Then he dumped me and I found some friends but by then my dad had Alzheimer's for 2 years, when I joined the friendship group. There was never a moment I could tell them about my dad. It was hard because everyone in the friendship group had known each other for about 5 years, but I only became friends with them in the last year of school, so I wasn't close to anyone of them. These people are the ones I'm friends with on Facebook.

Anyway, thanks for replying. I agree, I really should support the Alzheimer's page
   
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Re: What if they find out? - September 12th 2011, 06:59 PM

Support the page since you want to. If your friends, teachers, etc... find out, then it's even better because they too may support the page.
They may not know what Alzheimer's actually is, so you have the opportunity to tell them. For example, when I tell my folks I'm examining Norrie Syndrome (see next paragraph if you want to know what it is), they may think it's simply a condition causing reduced vision easily remedied by glasses, just as your friends could think everyone with Alzheimer's disease is instantly stupid, both are incorrect.

If you're curious, Norrie Syndrome is a very rare and nasty genetic disorder, often resulting in blindness, poor hearing/deafness, mental retardation, psychiatric conditions (i.e. psychosis) and ataxia, sometimes when they're just around 10 years old or by the time they're in their early-mid 20s to 30s.


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Re: What if they find out? - September 12th 2011, 10:53 PM

if people hassel you about your dad being sick... then they arent your friends so you shouldnt be worried about them. Like the page, its a good cause you are concerned about.


"One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." -Ida Scott Taylor
   
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Re: What if they find out? - September 13th 2011, 03:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DutchWelshWolf View Post
Thanks for replying.

Dr.Bobby, well, I don't know. I just don't want to be hassled and questioned. It's hard for me because during high school, I was bullied and a complete loner for 3 years. Then I had a boyfriend, but my dad had the onset of Alzheimer's. After a while, I told my boyfriend, but he didn't care or know much about it. Then he dumped me and I found some friends but by then my dad had Alzheimer's for 2 years, when I joined the friendship group. There was never a moment I could tell them about my dad. It was hard because everyone in the friendship group had known each other for about 5 years, but I only became friends with them in the last year of school, so I wasn't close to anyone of them. These people are the ones I'm friends with on Facebook.

Anyway, thanks for replying. I agree, I really should support the Alzheimer's page
You're making an assumption that people will react to this info now based on past experiences which were really sound quite different.

personally, I think you should get the support you think would be beneficial, and deal with whatever fall out you fear might result. 18 reacts much more compassionately to these kinds of things than younger people, it's a maturational thing, and those that don't, or those who just respond in ways that are uncomfortable, you can address in more adult like ways yourself.

Don't let past experience necessarily distort present reality, if it does, then it means there's some work to be done putting the emotions from that other time in their proper perspective.


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Re: What if they find out? - September 13th 2011, 06:15 PM

Like the page! Don't care about what other thinks about you - that's just part of life!
Be yourself, if they don't accept you for who you are then they are not worth you.


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Re: What if they find out? - September 14th 2011, 08:52 PM

I agree with everyone else, like the page! If this is something that you feel strongly about, then why not? I have a feeling people won't react badly to that. And if they are really your friends, they'll be there to support you through this. You don't have to go through things like this alone. Like the page. It doesn't have to be a big ordeal. People like pages on facebook all the time. Ten or twenty at a time. This is no different. You don't have to announce to everyone that your dad is sick, but if someone asks- be honest. People are more understanding of these things then you would think. :]


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