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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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dancinfool Offline
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Complicated Situation - January 6th 2009, 06:49 AM

Over the last few weeks there's been major drama in my friendship group.. Basically there were 2 couples going out last year, both split up for uni in September. I'll call them Boy A and Girl A, boy B and girl B.
Girl A dumped Boy A and he went to uni.. in the week before she did (whilst couple B were still officially together), Girl A and Boy B slept together. This all came out at a drunken new years party and obviously neither Girl A or Boy B was very popular. The girls have just about made up but Boy B has been sort of excluded from the group completely. His ex-girlfriend isnt prepared to forgive him, and there's no way Boy A ever will I don't think. He's tried to apologise and either wimped out or not had the proper chance.. and is now pissed off and prepared to go back to uni and pretend he never knew any of us.

The two girls in question I count as my closest friends, but I was also good friends with Boy B before he went out with Girl B. I don't want to lose him as a mate because he's a good laugh, and is also truly sorry for what he did. Most of my female friends don't want anything to do with him; none of them knew him particularly well in the first place. I don't know whether to just leave it and probably rarely if ever see him (I don't know who out of the lads in our group are prepared to still be friends with him); or make an effort to stay friends with him at the risk of upsetting the rest of my friends. Who (possibly quite rightly) think he's a cheating scumbag who doesn't deserve the time of day..

If that made any sense I'll be surprised, but any suggestions of what to do are welcome!
   
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Lee Offline
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January 6th 2009, 07:03 AM

Is it possible to see Boy B outside of your group of friends? If so, that may be the best route for now, until things have futher died down.
Perhaps when you make plans to see him, talk to a few others in your group and ask if they want to tag along. I wouldn't mention it in front of Boy A or Girl B though.

If you can do it in a calm situation, explain to Boy A, Girl A and Girl B that you are going to continue being friends with Boy B because even though you know he did wrong, we all screw up in our lives and we all deserve more chances. Also mention that you feel he is genuinely sorry and you want to give him a chance to be a good friend.
If they are realy friends, they will not lash out at you for continuing to be his friend. They may not be happy about it, but they don't have to be his friends, just like you don't have to not be his friend.

- Lee
   
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January 6th 2009, 08:40 AM

Yeah I guess so. I'll do my best to be tactful..
   
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