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Celyn Offline
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My social life - September 28th 2011, 09:20 PM

Is non existent. I've never had a social life, even when I was younger. I live in quite an isolated area, and we don't have a car, so we have never gone out to eat, and rarely go to the cinema. In high school, I had few friends, and they never invited me out to places. So I've never had a social life. Whilst in high school, I began having panic attacks and my friend said I could have anxiety. But now I haven't had panic attacks in at least 2 or 3 years, and I feel more confident in doing things that back then I would never do eg answer the phone, answer the door, catch a bus, go shopping (all the typical things that people with anxiety would struggle with).

However, I have recently started university, and I am really enjoying it. Already the group that I am in is separated into smaller groups. I am not staying in accomodation, since I am local. But there are people who live in the same area together, there are people who like to go out and get drunk (something that I have never done, and don't really want to do) and there are two girls that I get on with because they don't drink. A close friend told me that there is more to uni than just learning stuff, and basically saying that I should have a social life. I got a tiny bit upset, but I know she cares about me and wants what's best for me and I know she is right...but it just hurt a bit lol. I just struggle to see how I can have a social life, since I don't want to go out drinking, I have to rely on public transport, I will probably get lost, and sometimes I have to care for my dad, who has Alzheimers, and I'm not really close to the 2 girls who I get on with, because we haven't spent much time together and they live in accomodation.

Any ideas about what to do?
   
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Re: My social life - October 8th 2011, 01:50 AM

I'm currently commuting to graduate school three days per week, so I understand what it's like to not have much of a social life due to circumstances beyond your control. Honestly, I think you're doing well enough at the moment... at least you have friends! If you want to experience more outside of the usual academic stuff, then why not look into joining a club/organization on campus? Clubbing/partying/drinking does not necessarily equal a "social life". =P






   
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Re: My social life - October 8th 2011, 06:27 PM

Honestly, it may not feel like you have a social life. Especially after the comment your friend made! But you DO have friends. you're honestly a lot more ahead of some people in a university. When I was in college, I didn't have any friends. But I'm partly to blame, as I didn't talk to many people at all. (I was in my most depressive state, and isolated). So I know somewhat what you're going through. I know you feel like by taking public transport that you'll get lost. But it's really quite easy. Just map out your routes, and before getting on a bus- ask the bus driver if this is the right route to get to -insert desired destination here-. My suggestion to you, is to join some club. It will feel weird at first, but you'll get to know people better. Keep putting yourself out there, and you will definitely maintain a social life!


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
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Re: My social life - October 8th 2011, 07:18 PM

Hey guys

I actually forgot about this thread lol. Thanks, both, for commenting.

Things are going well, and I have got closer to my friends and we have all arranged to go out for lunch next week, so that will be good. Things are definitely better now in university than they were in high school!

I will have a look into the clubs as well

And for the record, my friend who told me that there was more to uni than learning stuff- was only looking out for me. Since she had to put up with me when I was getting bullied and had no friends when I started high school, she just wanted to make sure that I start uni the right way and make the most of it lol

Overall, things are looking up
   
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Re: My social life - October 11th 2011, 03:39 AM

I'm glad to hear that things are improving! =D I'm also glad to hear that your close friend said what she said in order to encourage you, vs. make you feel inadequate. I've had friends like those in the past, and while it hurts to hear them say those things at first, you eventually realize that they're right, and only looking out for your best interests.






   
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