Feeling a bit lost =/

[Nicole123]

I am usually the one giving advice, but we all have something bothering us.
My issue is that lately I have been feeling lost. I feel lonely, like no one cares. I know they do, but at the same time I keep believing they don't. I know it's wrong but I can't help it. I see the way my friends or other people talk with each other and I get a little sad when I see how seriously they talk to me or not at all and how goofy they are with each other. I start to feel that I am not fun, or interesting and that bothers me so much, because I know I am better than that, but why can't people talk to me more and communicate with me. I usually get a few or just one text from one person a day, why can't more people keep in contact with me? No wonder I don't want to talk to them. I feel like I am meant to be on my own, that people just don't like me.

I am 22, never had a boyfriend, and it takes so much effort for a guy to look at me. They never care or even smile, they just look away or give me the annoyed look. I don't understand what I did to deserve this treatment. This happens on a daily basis, I got so hurt and sick of getting either mean looks or no looks at all, that I stopped caring and don't even pay attention to guys anymore. It is too hurtful.

I am so busy with school that I tend to spend most of my day alone and it's starting to bug me. I seem "happier" when I am alone and this is very unlike me. I am usually devastated when I am away from family, friends and people in general, but lately I feel like I am pushing everyone away either because I am so used to being alone or for attention. I don't know why this is happening to me but it is and I need to figure out how to get myself out before it gets worse.

I cancel plans, ignore my family, ignore text messages, I deactivated my facebook and sit in my room, read, listen to music, or go for runs alone. I am puzzled with this behavior and just wonder what it could be.

I guess what I am trying to say is that people hurt me all the time, intentionally or not and I guess I can't take it anymore, or maybe it's something else, but I am very hurt right now.

I do get like this once in a while but this is the longest I have been like this and I don't really know what to think of it.

Does anyone else feel this way or have any advice?

thank you

p.s. sorry if I sounded negative in my entry, but it's been a rough day

[Le bonheur*]

Hey Nicole,
I think everyone at one point has a stage of pushing people away and becoming isolated. I know I have. Sometimes, I enjoy being alone to the point where I could spend weeks alone and when someone asks me to hang out, I feel like they're just out to make fun of me because of how I've been locked away for so long. I know, it's silly.
It's completely normal to do this once in a while just make sure that you don't get too deep into it as it may cause problems for you and cause your family to be hurt. You don't want that do you?
I suggest going out as much as possible. If someone asks you to go do something with them, go. Text a friend first, see where that leads. Spend extra time with your family. Of course, don't forget about your studies because you still need to focus on school but perhaps not as much. Go for runs with a friend rather than by yourself.
As for the boyfriend thing, your time will come. You're still quite young and I personally believe that there's someone out there for everyone. In time, you will find love and you'll be happy with that love.
As I said before, this is quite normal sometimes as long as you know how to get yourself out of it. Which is usually done by spending time with the people who matter most and making yourself realize that they mean a lot to you.
Best of luck. xx

[Nicole123]

Hey Brittany,

thank you so much for the response it means a lot and I agree with everything you said! I am feeling a lot better after taking time to think everything through and after re-reading my post a couple times over. I realize my problem is that I take time alone as a bad thing and like you said it's normal and we all need it! I guess I am so used to company that when things slow down, I freak out a little but I am sure that is normal too I guess I need to work on being more positive and see life in a more positive outlook like you do It will definitely help!

It's not silly on your part and sometimes when we are alone we have these ideas but they are usually false! Don't isolate yourself too much either!

I am planning on turning the frown upside down and your message definitely helped me so much

thank you so much again,

Nicole