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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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cho Offline
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Should I let this 5 years of friendship go? - October 7th 2011, 05:39 PM

My former best friend and I had been friends since we were 13, we were inseparable and never fought. I'm 18 now and things have changed so much. It gradually started last march..

Every time she invited me over or we had plans to hang out she'd put a movie on for us to watch, sit on the couch and text/go on facebook on her blackberry. She never engaged in conversation with me unless it was about herself or her problems. Whenever I asked her something or started to talk about something it would take her 1minute to reply or ask "Sorry, what?" Because she'd be too busy talking to her other work friends on her phone. At first I thought, "Okay, she's meeting new friends, she just got a boyfriend..i'll be patient, put up with it and give her time." But it never ended. If we did end up going downtown or to a concert I always got this feeling like I was annoying her even when I was acting completely normal. I just felt like she was never having much fun and everything was a bit of a choir. She always carried this attitude with me that she's always had but I never minded when we were best friends. For instance, we were at the beer store the other day returning empties for money. I packed all the empties into her car and when it was time to unpack them I made my way to the doors in search for one of those carts to hall all the beer cans onto to get them into the store. In a really snarky tone she asked "what are you doing.." When I told her she laughed really sarcastically and said.."Yeah..we dont need that." Then when we went to open her trunk she said.."Okay you should probably go get the cart..haha..sorry!" And tried to play her mistake all innocent. She does these things and has attitude with me a lot. Its really annoying because I don't deserve it. I'm a really good friend to her.

I don't mean to bash on her other friends but I cant see them as being all that great for her. They got her into smoking cigs, she's gaining a bunch of weight because they're all over weight and they don't respect their bodies at all. They encourage her to get really drunk (which is sometimes fun to do with friends) but it seems like every weekend and I see pictures and she just looks trashy now. I know these are really mean things to say about a "best friend" but its the truth and I cant help but notice it.

She lies to me too. Now that she's "into" smoking she told me "no my mom doesn't care she just laughs.." So one day we were outside in her backyard and she decided to have a smoke when her brother walks in on us unexpectedly. She gets this look of shock on her face and throws her smoke away and says.."Please don't tell mom..." Like you honestly had to lie to me about that..?

Anyways, we haven't talked in three weeks because we were supposed to have breakfast together but when I texted her asking her if she was ready I didn't get a text back for half an hour. I went on her facebook to see if she was on so that I could message her but she updated her status and because she has a blackberry it says where she is when she updates her status and it was at her boyfriends house. Anyways, she finally texts me and says.."Opps! We cant go out for breakfast I totally slept in! Want to go downtown with me tomorrow though?" I said no, because I had already made plans with a different friend. And now we haven't talked since.

It makes me sad thinking of all the laughs we've had. And all the good times we've been through together. I don't know if this is the end of us, but it sure feels like it. I know friends come and go, but I didn't think it would happen like this.
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Re: Should I let this 5 years of friendship go? - October 7th 2011, 06:24 PM

I let a friendship of 6 years go and it was the best thing I've ever do.e for myself.

I'd advise you to tell get what's bothering you, give her a chance to try to make things better, and let her go if nothing changes.
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Re: Should I let this 5 years of friendship go? - October 8th 2011, 01:15 AM

Being friends with someone for a long time doesn't necessarily mean that your friendship is stronger. Sometimes, we feel like we "owe" it to other people because we've known them for so long... but in reality, it all comes down to how they're treating you now. Life is too short to worry about preserving friendships simply because they're our oldest friendships. Make time to meet new people! If your friend truly cares about you, she'll make the effort to call. If she doesn't, then you can look back on the good times and hope to have that sort of friendship with other people in the future.

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