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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Bubbly751 Offline
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Feeling left out? - October 8th 2011, 07:16 PM

I took a friend to a dance at school. She wouldnt dance and just stood around awkwardly. I knew she wanted to go home, but I wanted to stay and didnt offer to take her. She had to stay the whole time (my dad was our ride). I feel bad. And I dont know what to do about future dances, she wants to go, but doesnt do anything!! Its frustrating. Do I invite her again or go with out her?


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Re: Feeling left out? - October 9th 2011, 02:04 AM

Hi Sarah,

I think you should talk with her about her experiences at the dance (and your discomfort) and see what she says.

People get different things out of dances, don't assume that her standing around means she isn't getting something out of it. either way, a convo clears the air and clarifies things so you're not uncomfortable.


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Re: Feeling left out? - October 9th 2011, 08:05 AM

Thanks, I will talk to her about first thing on Monday.


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Re: Feeling left out? - October 11th 2011, 03:46 AM

Hey there! I can actually relate to your friend. =P When I was younger, I didn't want to be left out of social events... but once I arrived, I didn't know what to do! Talk to your friend, and see if that is what's going on for her. If she wants to join in on the fun but doesn't know how to get over the initial bout of awkwardness/shyness, you can give her tips on how to initiate conversations with other people and encourage her while you're at future social events. You could also make a point of inviting her to hang out with you and a few other friends - get her used to small social gatherings first, then work your way up toward larger social gatherings, ex. dance parties. If she's enjoying the party, but doesn't want to dance... then you don't have to feel bad about her not dancing! Like Bobby said, she may be getting something out of simply being there, ex. listening to the music and other people's conversations.






   
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Re: Feeling left out? - October 11th 2011, 10:26 PM

I talked to her and she said she hadnt been interacting much because she felt sick. She said next time it will be better. Im glad I talked to her.


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Re: Feeling left out? - October 12th 2011, 10:24 PM

I'm glad you talked to her as well. And I'm glad that everything worked out.

With that, I'm going to close this now.

OP- Let me know if you want me to re-open this.


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