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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
rizz Offline
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Exclamation he keeps putting pressure on me - March 21st 2009, 11:20 AM

well my dad is in jail (plz dont ask y...its too long a story to tell) any way he keeps putting pressure on me 2 do theings 4 him ..."do this" do that" "get this" "get that"...he was even asking me 2 send out mail 2 ppl 4 him n 2 go see lawyers EVEN though i have a broken leg!!! i mean i can barley walk yet im still excpected to do things 4 him and then he goes on n on about how his in there n im out here n how he did so much 4 me and my brothers...it just doesnt stop n when i try 2 talk 2 him he doesnt listen (it was never his strong point)

i just dont no what to do any more and its starting 2 push me over the edge 2 the point where i dont wanna talk 2 him but i cant live not to talk 2 him...its soooo confusing and being an 18yr old my life is confusing enough as it is.

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Re: he keeps putting pressure on me - March 21st 2009, 05:07 PM

Hey Rizz,

I really think you should explain this to your dad. Let him know that you are having a hard time doing everything he wants done and that you are really busy at the moment. It's not really fair of him to make you do everything for him- and as you said, it's really difficult with a broken leg!

How old are your brothers? Do you think they could help out with some of the stuff your dad is asking? Or do you have any other family members that could help with this? Maybe an aunt or uncle? Or ask your dad if he could get someone else to do it. He might have a friend outside who could lend him a hand with these things.

Just do what you are able to do and what you want to do. Your dad might be able to do this stuff from in jail. But I think it's really important that you let him know that all of this is too much for you. Ignore the guilt tripping, you've got a life too and you've got an injury to deal with.

Nat.


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Re: he keeps putting pressure on me - March 22nd 2009, 01:57 AM

i try 2 tell him but he just wont listen n sometimes i end up screamin @ him n he starts threatenin 2 hung up on me
   
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Re: he keeps putting pressure on me - March 22nd 2009, 02:19 AM

Don't scream or get angry for that matter, it will solve nothing. Talk to him and see if you can come to some sort of agreement, perhaps splitting the work or less work if possible.

Your dad needs you though some things need to be taken care of and you should help him even though it is hard.
   
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Re: he keeps putting pressure on me - March 22nd 2009, 02:24 AM

i do try talking him about it but the main prob is that i hav a broken leg i can barly walk n im tryin 2 do my school work as well as that i work...i dont hav time 2 b doin everything 4 him n i dont need all his guilt trips...im doin as much as i can 4 him but 2 him its not enough...n im gettin no help from the rest of my family
   
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Re: he keeps putting pressure on me - March 22nd 2009, 02:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rizz View Post
i do try talking him about it but the main prob is that i hav a broken leg i can barly walk n im tryin 2 do my school work as well as that i work...i dont hav time 2 b doin everything 4 him n i dont need all his guilt trips...im doin as much as i can 4 him but 2 him its not enough...n im gettin no help from the rest of my family
Well use the same strategy your dad is using. Put them on guilt trips. Like "Yeah I'll walk this letter to the mail box with my broken leg. Hopefully I don't fall and hurt my leg even more then the agonizing pain I feel now. Don't worry about me though I know you guys have very important things to do, I wish I was just lucky enough to have two legs that work" ect.

get it?
   
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Re: he keeps putting pressure on me - March 22nd 2009, 02:41 AM

i already tried that on sum of my family but the prob with them is that they dont care...in fact most of them hav told me they dont wanna hav anything 2 do with me or dad n they dont care what happens 2 either 1 of us :C
   
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Re: he keeps putting pressure on me - March 22nd 2009, 03:52 AM

Then I think you should take some time off. Tell your dad that you can't do anything for him for two weeks. I'm sure he can last two weeks without you doing everything for him. Take some time to yourself, do your own work, and focus on just getting better. Let him know that you can help him out later, but that right now you need to have some time to get your stuff done.

Schedule your time and find out how much extra time you have per week apart from doing your own work. Then figure out how much you'd like to use for helping your dad, if any. If your dad still needs help, then spend the time you decided on for helping him, but not any more than that.


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