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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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bfauzer Offline
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Unhappy my mom doesn't like me anymore - January 10th 2009, 11:32 AM

My mom and I have been going through a rough patch lately. Our biggest argument is college. I am a very laid back person, and she is under the distinct impression that I don't care about my future. She keeps telling me that I am a loser who won't make it anywhere. I, on the other hand, won't tell her anything because she has told me that she thinks that college is boring and falls asleep at every open house we go to.
My mother has also told me that she would like me better as a boy. My brothers don't get yelled at by her like I do, and she is much easier on them.
Everything used to be great up until I got closer to the age where I could find my birthmother. Then she became really mean and cross with me all the time.
I am really in a bind. I am the type of person who holds in her emotions until she snaps, and I am about to SNAP. Please help.
   
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Re: my mom doesn't like me anymore - January 10th 2009, 11:53 AM

hey,
is your mother your brothers birthmother?? and are they younger or older??

maybe your moms feeling like with you going to college and finding your birthmother that you dont need her anymore...
im probably wrong but maybe thats why your brothers treated differently (i probably am wrong since i just guessed theyre younger and blood related:P)
but maybe it would help to imagine things from her point of view anyway
after all im a pretty laid back person and because of that my parents just think i don't care about my future...

hope that helped:P

pm me anytime
   
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Elizabeth Offline
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Re: my mom doesn't like me anymore - January 10th 2009, 11:55 AM

You might try to tell her you are planning for the future. If you sh says you are lazy and arn't planning, you can point out that you are going to open houses at colleges to try to figure what you want to do with your life.
As for she liking you better as boy, does she mean that she is upset that you are a girl, or when she compares you to your brothers, she wishes you behaved more liked them?
As for finding you birth mother, you mom might be upset about you finding her. She might feel like she loved and raised you and now she is being replaced. Talk to her about how she feels about this.
Good luck with your mom and feel free to PM me anytime!
   
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Re: my mom doesn't like me anymore - January 10th 2009, 11:59 AM

First of all, I am SURE that your mom still loves you very much. Everyone goes through rough patches witht their parents; fighting about college doesn't strike me as that odd.
Telling you that you're a loser isn't cool and isn't true. You've got to tell her that that's offensive and not okay, and get her to stop. Especially since you're about to transition to college (or not college), it's important that you're in a good state/frame of mind about yourself. Don't let your mom get to your head.

Maybe your mom is scared that you're going to leave her if you try and find your birthmother. Perhaps all this negativity is her being really, really afraid that she's going to lose you. I would try talking to her; see what happens if you tell her that you don't like the way that she's treating you.

And try to keep your emotions under control. Practice letting off steam instead of bottling everything up until you snap. That's not a very healthy way to live, and I think that it would only contribute to the problems you're having with your mom.

Best of luck,
Calla
   
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