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Average Joe
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Age: 27
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Suicidal father - October 17th 2011, 04:14 AM

This is a confusing part of my life that i've never talked about before. My father used to drink all of the time. Which made him
very intent on having very long conversations about my extreme amount of flaws. He was super stressed with work, is why I like to think he did it. He was also very depressed which lead him to cry on the bathroom floor for hours ( which is pretty much right outside my door.) and muttering about how he "wanted out of this life" which was pointed at my mom and I. I was pretty young when this was happening, 5-9th grade. So at first I had no idea what was going on, all of a sudden my father was crazy. It was extremely confusing and frightening. We'd get into intense arguments all of the time. My mom completely ignored his behavior. 100% pretended it was not happening. I'm now starting to wonder if this all happened because my parents had a dysfunctional relationship. But maybe it was my fault? I got really bad grades, could him feeling like he failed as a parent be the reason? Now he doesn't drink anymore because my councilor talked to them and made it better but.... I'm just now starting to comprehend what happened and have noticed that I feel pretty uncomfortable getting close to my father emotionaly.

"Setting boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation - although some people will say they are setting boundaries, when in fact they are attempting to manipulate. The difference between setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is: when we set a boundary we let go of the outcome."

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

Colonel Meow

Last edited by StrigidaeofChrono; October 17th 2011 at 07:25 PM.
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Re: Suicidal father - October 18th 2011, 04:06 AM

Do NOT blame yourself for what your father is going through. Depression can be caused by all sorts of factors - genetic, environmental, and situational. Trust me, getting poor grades did NOT significantly contribute to your father's depression.

Unfortunately, I know nothing about your father, so I can't say what DID lead to his depression. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling to cope with this, and I hope you (and possibly your counselor as well) can encourage both of your parents to seek help of their own. I'm glad that you at least have someone to turn to. =)

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