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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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april11495 Offline
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Question have i done the right thing??? - October 21st 2011, 12:16 PM

i had two best friends....we were really close...but then they changed....they started becoming more rude towards people and commenting on our other friends....i didnt like them insulting my friends and i told them so....then i came to one of them broke my trust....she broke my promise and went and told my secret to someone else....n my other friend knew what she did but never told me.....i didnt react when they told me....i just walked back home and cried....the next day i was as normal as i could get....but i didnt trust them anymore....i didnt want to lose my friends so i just acted as though nothing happened....but then both of them alwayz walked off to talk about private stuff and i was hurt.....we used to share everything and now they just ignored me most of the time.....and then i heard some things they say about me....they even asked me why i hurt people so much...and i dont even know what i did...why are they behaving like this....shouldnt i be the one acting different???
and then it got too much for me to handle....them outright telling me on my face that its my problem...and i have to decide what i need to do...i thought friends were supposed to help each other with problems right??? so when i tell them about mine they say this??
so then i decided ill stop talking to them....and now i havent spoken to them from two days....but whats bothering me is that they dont even care....they havent even come asking me why im ignoring them....i dont know if i can trust anyone ever....is there a thing like friends forever??? or does nothing ever last???
have i done the right thing??? or should i hav spoken to them and cleared things out??
   
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Re: have i done the right thing??? - October 21st 2011, 05:38 PM

Your biggest red flag should have been when they talked about your friends behind their back. I'm glad you stood up for the friends and said something. It shows maturity, and that your morals are good. After reading all of this. It sounds like they are really mean people. To be honest, they deserve each other. If that's the way they choose to treat other people, then they are better off being friends and leaving people out of it. The way it sounds to me, whoever they get close to is going to be back stabbed by them.

I think you did the right thing by stopping the communication between you and them. I know you're hurt that they don't even seem to care, but you can't have it both ways. Meaning, even though they don't seem to care.. it shouldn't matter because they seem to be hurtful people. I know they broke your trust, but not everyone is the same. Get to know other people. Join clubs. Make new friends. I don't know if friends last forever, but I guess you'll find out when forever comes. Don't be afraid to get close to people. But I suppose that if you take anything from this; You'll be a better judge of character now, and you'll know who not to trust, and who is a true friend.

Take care.


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Re: have i done the right thing??? - October 21st 2011, 05:41 PM

Hello, April. Welcome to TeenHelp! =)

It sounds like these so-called "friends" did everything within their power to make you dislike them. Just look at the list of events you mentioned. This wasn't a misunderstanding between friends - this was an active attempt to push you away. Well, they've succeeded. Frankly, I think you're better off without them. If you want to sit down with the both of them and start from the "beginning", talking about what went wrong and why, then you're welcomed to do so... but honestly, I don't think this is anything on your end. THEY are the ones who need to grow up.

No, not all friendships will end like this. Friendships CAN come and go with time, but it's not always because of something like this. People can grow apart with time due to differing interests, but some friendships really will last for a lifetime. Others will simply have less of an impact on your life with time, so it's important to keep meeting new people and create friendships whenever/wherever you can! You never know who will be that "best" friend for a year, five years, or for the rest of your life.

Remember, your friends (or "friends") aren't the only ones changing... YOU are changing as well! When you're younger, you'll be spending a lot of time re-defining yourself and determining what it means to be a true friend. It's perfectly okay to do that. =)






   
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