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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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emaryllisxx Offline
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"Take you back" - Pathetic or not? - March 22nd 2009, 12:17 AM

I was talking to my friend over IM, trying to help her feel better after her boyfriend just broke up with her. Or, as she put it, asked her if they could "take a break." I don't know her very well, but it seemed like she was feeling really horrible so I wanted to help. She felt like everything was her fault, that she had pushed him away. So I said, "I'm sure that he'll take you back if you can really show him that things will be different." She seemed to be offended by my use of "take you back." She said that that sounded really pathetic, so I feel really bad now. I didn't mean to make it sound like that; I only said "take you back" because he was the one to break up with her, it wasn't a mutual split. Was that really wrong to say? > < I didn't want to make her feel worse, but now that I think about, maybe that was a pretty awkward way to phrase it...
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Re: "Take you back" - Pathetic or not? - March 22nd 2009, 12:38 AM

This is the most difficult thing about using IM to talk to people- everything can be misinterpreted. Your intentions were good, there's no doubt, and you sound like a good friend, but it's impossible to show emotions properly through IM. It sounds like your friend did not understand what you meant by what you said. I think it can be read and taken two ways, and it's not your fault that she read it differently than you meant it.

The best way to fix this is to tell her what you meant. Just let her know that maybe you worded it differently, but you didn't mean to hurt her feelings at all.

These things happen all the time, so don't feel badly about it. There's no way you can really change it, but you can help her to understand what you did mean by what you said.


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pathetic, take you back

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