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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
PointeStarr Offline
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Name: Samantha Noel
Age: 28
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Join Date: December 23rd 2010

Question Ready to tell my bestfriend to forget I exsist - October 23rd 2011, 01:03 AM

I have been having some issues with illness for a while, my symptoms are really similar to that of pregnancy and when I had a test come up positive (anotheer test came up neg. still unsure) I immediately told my best friend who goes to school 3 hours away from my college which is 6 hours from my town.

She immediately told me to start looking at adoption agencies because I couldnt keep it. I reminded her that I will never put my baby up for adoption. and she told me that...
  • I'm to mentally unstabble to be a parent
  • I have sex purely because i have no self esteem
  • I spread my legs for anyone who says im pretty so its no shock that I dont know whos it would be
  • all my baby will see me do is drink and smoke
  • I've never had a healthy relationship so my baby wont know what one is
  • social services will probably take my baby away the second the cords cut
  • if i manage to keep it and have a girl it will be a whore like me and end up with HIV (i have no stds so idk where she got that from)
  • if i have a boy and manage to not have him taken away he will be an abusive womanizer who thinks all girls are good for is sex

theres more, like 6 pages more, but thats the general gist of it.
I smoke cigarettes. but havent smoked since the thought of "i might be pregnant" came up
I drink socially on weekends that I dont work. again havent since I started thinking I might be.
I have bipolar disorder and my insurance keeps changing its mind on whether or not my medication is covered so I keep going off of it.
everything else she said I just couldnt believe.

I'm still hurt by what she said, I talked to the 3rd person in our trio about what she said and he said something to her about how hurt I was by it and her response was "well its not like it wasnt true"

We havent talked in a few days and I'm very hurt still. I wrote a letter telling her exactly how I felt and how she was wrong in what she said. but I am still debating whether to send it to her.

I'm debating telling her to lose my number forget my face block her online and cut her out of my life, I have never been so mad at anybody in my life and the fact that she doesnt realize or care that she hurt me just makes me even more angry

I do know that if I am pregnant I am telling her to get out of my life because I do not want people around me telling me how terrible of a mom I will be and how screwed up my childs life will be because I am such a terrible person and not mom material.

But I dont know if I should wait to find out whether or not I am pregnant before I tell her to get out of my life. Or if I even should.
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Magic. Offline
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Re: Ready to tell my bestfriend to forget I exsist - October 23rd 2011, 01:57 AM

Oh sweetie that sounds awful, I'm sorry you heard that from your best friend. If it were me I'd tell her to get lost pregnant or not. I know it might be hard, I've told best friends, hell only friends, to get lost before. And it is hard, but you deserve so much better.

Bipolar is no reason not to have a baby. I know two girls from school who have bipolar and are great mums!! Seriously the giving up drinking and smoking things are great, and you don't even know if you're pregnant yet! as for the rest, I don't know how true it is, but if it is I don't judge you for it, because it sounds like if those things are true and you are pregnant, you'd stop everything bad like you have with smoking and drinking and be a great mum.

I understand about not giving a baby up for adoptiong, I could never do it. Personally I'd find an abortion easier, the idea of someone else raising my child would just destroy me. Not that I'm recommending it of course.

If you are pregnant and you decide to keep it, I think you'll be a great mum. Ignore what this girl said you clearly deserve better friends than her! Fell free to pm if you want to chat

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
PointeStarr Offline
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Re: Ready to tell my bestfriend to forget I exsist - October 30th 2011, 07:05 PM

I sent her a message a few days ago telling her how upset and hurt i was by what she said, and that I hope I am pregnant (though i just found out that I'm not) just so i could prove every damn word she said wrong and so I would have even more reason to tell her to get out of my life because I wont have someone around my child telling them how better there live would be if I wasnt in it. And I ended it with, I'm blocking you on facebook and skype please change your profile picture and forget my face, lose my number and dont talk to me thank you very much my future childrens former aunt _____

She called me crying and apologiezed and we have been talking the last few days and I think we will be able to get past this.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
Normality, my friends.
Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Ready to tell my bestfriend to forget I exsist - October 31st 2011, 04:57 PM

It seems like you've managed to fix things with your friend, or at least agree to move forward and get past it.

Because the issue is resolved, I'm going to close this.

Samantha, if you need anymore help, feel free to post a new thread

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