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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Age: 27
Gender: Female

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Join Date: February 4th 2009

Growing Apart - October 29th 2011, 07:23 AM

My best friend and I have been together for 13 years now. We met when we were 5 and are still best friends to this day. But I'm scared. Ever since we started college, communication has become thinner and thinner.

Even when my parents divorced 5 years ago, and I moved out of state, we still kept in touch and text each other relatively often. Visiting was limited, of course. But that's to be expected when you live out of state. But now that college has started for the both of us, I only get a text from her a few times a week. We're both busy. But it often makes me feel lonely and onesided. She has two of her other best friends at school with her, so she gets to see them all of the time. But I don't.

She expressed her concern over last spring break, saying that she wondered if we would still be friends after college. I adamantly told her we would be. 13 years shouldn't go down the toilet, just like that. She said she was just afraid we would get too busy with life, and I guess we have. But we still think to text each other every once in a while.

It just hurts. I never realized how much our friendship meant until recently. And it hurts to think it'll grow thinner and thinner with each passing day.

We're still alike in a lot of ways. We're still there for each other when one of us is sad. We still visit when we can. So why am I so worried?

I honestly think it's part of all the change I've gone through within the past few months- moving from a small town to a city, going from public school to college, leaving my mom and family to go to school. It's all been rough. And it's weird how everything keeps hitting me harder than it did before. Probably because I'm vulnerable.

But all I want to do now is go back to the city and curl up in bed and bawl my eyes out. I'm at said friend's house right now. I'm getting anxious. Wondering how I would deal if we abruptly stopped being friends. I just wanna call mom and talk to her and cry.

I must be thinking too much. But this is difficult. Reassuring words or advice would be nice right now. Thanks!

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Growing Apart - October 29th 2011, 08:26 AM

You two have best friends for years, I doubt it'll end just like that. That being said, friendships change in college. Even the best of friendships. But just because friendships are changing, doesn't mean they're for the worse. You two may not see each other as much anymore, but this gives you the opportunity to branch out & meet other people. & even though you won't see her as much, you should know she's still there. I believe there's the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Like you, I have friends I don't see much anymore, but it makes me appreciate time with them even more than I would have. Things change, but you'll see eventually that they're for the best.
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