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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Ambedo. Offline
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I'm Losing Them All. :( - October 31st 2011, 04:28 AM

My cousin is mad at me right now and I don't know why. She won't talk to me either, so I can't even apologize for whatever it is that I did wrong. My best friends and I are drifting and I'm starting to get that paranoid feeling again. You know, the one where you feel like they don't really like you and they're always talking bad about you? I'm losing all positive adult influences in my life. The worst part is, I know I'm the one pushing them away. I'm just doing it before they decide they're tired of dealing with me. I'm fighting with my parents all the time and it's not showing signs of getting any better. I can't really talk to the rest of my family about it because I don't know if they'll say something to my parents. I screwed up a relationship with a great guy because I got scared of getting hurt again, panicked, and ran before he could decide he'd rather be with someone else. I'm fighting with someone who used to be a great friend, but I can't seem to swallow my pride and move past it. UGH. I just feel like I'm fucking up all my relationships with people and there's nothing I can do to stop it.


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
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Re: I'm Losing Them All. :( - October 31st 2011, 05:31 PM

Hey there, I'm sorry you're going through all this. It does seem like everything is crumbling down on you. But things look up. I think you should try and talk to your cousin. Send her a message basically saying that once she's ready to talk, you'd love to know what you did so that you can fix it. Then give her her space. If you keep pushing and pulling at the situation, then that's going to drive her away.

I know that you feel like your friends and you are drifting apart. Why not initiate a hang out? To refuel the friendship. Go out to dinner. Maybe see a movie. Try to initiate a hang out once a week. Yous should also talk to your friends about how you feel you're drifting apart. Ask if they've noticed the same thing. Just discuss it, and make suggestions on how to fix it, and ask some for their input as well.

I'm sorry about you and your parents fighting. Families all go through stages where they simply just don't see eye to eye on anything. It happens, but you all love each other all the same. Hold on to that. Maybe talk to them, and say that you're not enjoying all this fighting and that it's really hard on you. Suggest a potential family meeting, so you can get everything out on the table. Do you think it would help if you did things as a family? Like cook dinner, or maybe have a family game night? That worked for my family, and aided us in becoming closer. Try it. It might work.

My suggestions to you is that you meet new people. In our life, people come and go. People change and grow. It just happens, and it's not something that we can help. Join a club or a sport at school. One that pertains to your interests. That way, you'll meet people that share common interests..thus making new friends. Also, talk to new people. Branch out of your comfort zone. Invite people to lunch or for coffee. Get to know people. Making friends can be hard, but if you really want to, you have to be willing to make that effort to do so. Friends aren't usually handed to us.

Also, I think you'd do well by talking to a guidance counselor or a teacher at school. It seems like you have a lot going on, but really no way of releasing/venting it all out. It's hard to talk to people about what's going on in your head, as it's pretty personal. But it feels so good to have someone listen. They don't even need to give advice, because listening feels so good as well. Maybe you could try that. I think that would be beneficial to you. If you have a hard time verbalizing emotions, then maybe write them out and hand them to someone. That's what I always did. And it worked wonders!

Hope this helped.
Hang in there<3


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Ambedo. Offline
I'm as sane as I ever was.

Outside, huh?
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Re: I'm Losing Them All. :( - November 1st 2011, 12:22 AM

Thanks so much for the advice. Honestly, I'm not sure what can be done to salvage my family. It seems like I've been at war with them for 4 years. I think I might try your teacher idea though. It's kind of awkward to talk to them, but I'll try anything, if it will help.


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
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