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musicismylife14 Offline
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Help? - November 4th 2011, 03:16 AM

Hello

I don't like telling people what's wrong. Especially strangers. So forgive me if I'm being a little withheld. Anyway.

My best friend is worried about me. This whole thing with this guy happened over the internet. I still like him even though he wasn't good to me at all. She tells me it's because I can't see past the compliments that he gives me. I don't think that's true.

She told me it has gotten so far that I need help and she gave me this link. And now I'm typing and I don't even understand what I'm supposed to say.

Well. My parents are strict 7th Day Adventists. I can't do a whole lot. They always tell me that I need to lose weight and they are always controlling over what I do. I can't go over to my best friend's house because her mom smokes (which makes sense for the most part) and I'm not allowed to play a game because it has magic.

If I told my parents that I chat with people I met online they would kill me. They would take away my phone, my computer, EVERYTHING! I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone, not even my bestie. That scares me. I don't want to lose her. She's the only person I have that I know truly loves me. I would be grounded forever, get yelled at a lot more, even though I'm in trouble almost every day for not doing anything.

I just don't know what to do. I take out my anger on my bestie when I don't mean to. I hide behind anger and I can't tell anyone how I really feel. I feel like I'm a horrible person. No guy is ever going to want me compared to all the other girls out there, and I think that may be why my friend thinks that I should let go of my ex. It's because I'm never going to meet him and he's just mean to me so I don't need him.

Anyway. Can anyone give me advice about my parents? I don't know what to do. It seems like everything I do is wrong.

Thanks.

Last edited by musicismylife14; November 4th 2011 at 04:19 AM.
   
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Re: Help? - November 6th 2011, 09:18 PM

Welcome to TeenHelp!

My parents used to be overly protective of me when it came to the internet as well. Every day, I would sneak online behind their backs and worry about what they would say/do if they ever found out. You said your parents are Seventh Day Adventists, but I know that being overly protective of one's child isn't strictly a "Christian" thing. It can happen with any family. So my question to you is this: are they overly protective solely for religious reasons, or are they just overly protective because they worry about what could happen to you? It may help to ask them this question, if you've been too nervous to do so before. Some things can be argued, and some things cannot. If your parents are going to take this stance based on religious beliefs, then there's very little you can do. If you believe there's some leeway, however, then I'd start thinking about how you could approach this subject in the future.

As for taking things out on your friend - the good news is that you recognize how your anger/frustration toward your parents and their restrictions are affecting your friendship! The bad news is that you're having trouble filtering those emotions and treating your friend nicely. Unfortunately, that's part of being a teenager - learning how to inhibit yourself. It's going to take practice. You may have to stop and carefully consider every word you say before you say it. You may need to tell your friend why you have been treating her poorly at times, and come up with some general "rules" (ex. you won't talk to her when you know you're especially angry/frustrated, and therefore more likely to lash out at her; you'll communicate this with her, so she'll know you're not "ignoring" her when you don't talk to her for a few hours).






   
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Re: Help? - November 7th 2011, 10:50 PM

Thanks.

And the thing is, it's not just with the internet. They are almost always taking my sister's side when there are fights in the house. They spoil my sister rotten when I have to work for the things I want and sometimes not even get. Most of the restrictions that are NOT on the internet are because of religious beliefs (ex: no meat, no watching movies with magic, no playing games with magic, ect.). Sometimes my parent's get mad at me for things and then they don't even tell me why they're angry! I wanted to buy and Ipod with my own money and they were okay with it. When I finally got the money, my dad said I couldn't get one. My mom had to convince him to let me get it. I did, but still. He didn't give me a reason for why I couldn't buy it.

They get mad at me for a lot of things then don't tell me why they're mad. It frustrates and angers me.
   
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