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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Coal Offline
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How can I comfort a friend who just found out his father has cancer? - November 5th 2011, 02:14 PM

The cancer has spread to his bowels, prostate and lungs and is probably incurable. My friend doesn't have a very good relationship with his dad, he's well-known in my country and cheated on her mom pretty publicly, which resulted in the story being printed on the cover of every single newspaper. She says that she doesn't know how she should feel, because she used to hate him and this news just kind of turned everything upside down.
I told her that if she ever needed anyone to talk to, then I would be there and I intend to keep that promise. It's just that I'm usually pretty socially awkward and I have a hard time finding the right thing to say even in everyday situations. I do want to be there for her, I just don't know how I can do that without giving her false hope. Help?
   
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Arrow You're doing great. - November 5th 2011, 04:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coal View Post
I told her that if she ever needed anyone to talk to, then I would be there and I intend to keep that promise.
By telling her this, you are being there for her.

Everyone reacts differently in times like this. She may or may not want to talk to you and that's okay. But the fact that you have given her the option is very supportive and realistically, there's not much more you can do.


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Can build a bridge across the stream..."

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Re: How can I comfort a friend who just found out his father has cancer? - November 5th 2011, 09:00 PM

Just being there for her is enough. You don't have to say anything. But I would make sure she gets time with him and gets to say goodbye. I had a bad relationship with my grandma and she died a couple of months ago but I was too mad at her to say goodbye and I regret it everyday. Just don't let her do the same thing. You can message me or anything if you need anymore help!
   
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Re: How can I comfort a friend who just found out his father has cancer? - November 6th 2011, 05:07 PM

Alright, thanks guys. I guess I just wish there was something more I could do.
   
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Re: How can I comfort a friend who just found out his father has cancer? - November 7th 2011, 04:21 PM

Hey there,

I'm going to jump on the bandwagon here, and say that just saying that you're there for her is enough. Even if she doesn't ever talk to you about it, just knowing that you're there for her can mean a lot. And also, she won't feel like she is alone in this. Some people are talkers, and want to voice their emotions. If your friend is like that, then just be there for her. Listen to her. Offer up your input. Make her smile. hug her. Do things for her. If your friend is the type that wholes up inside of herself, then try to take her mind off of things by doing things with her, and just spending time with her. Some people just need someone around, and that's enough for them. If that's all you have to do, don't feel bad. We all react to things differently.

Aside from that, ask her what you can do for her. Simply say "I know you're going through a lot right know. Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you? Because I'm here to talk or be here when you need me. But if there is anything else you need, just let me know." And hopefully she will be able to direct you better than we can. Just keep talking to her. <3

-Lyndsee


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