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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy Family???? - November 9th 2011, 12:58 PM

Okay so i never told any of my family i was pregnant or having sex for many of the reasons one them is displaying right now!
Family never remembers any of the good they only remember the bad. So they fault me for alot of things like being with the baby's father for 3 years and he had done some things, but if he never did anything good for me & if i wasn't happy don't you think i would have left??? I wasn't completely innocent so i couldn't judge him completely. Were not together now and hes having "issues" so idk what to do about him, but that's irrelevant right now until the baby's here!
So one of my cousin "acted" like she was there for me, when i had my first appt to he doctor my mother asked me to ask her to come because my mother didn't want to go back there with me, so she agreed (my mother paid her for it also!) She asked me to do something for her and i was about to but my mother came and got me because i had something else to do. I let her have 40$ for gas one day she almost demanded out of me and i was in drivers ed class so i couldn't text back right away so she got upset. So ever since then shes been texting and calling me about helping her fill out an appt. for a a job she wants online (shes a grown women!) but i tried to make time when i do shes busy or she doesn't call me back till the next day. So she finally says nvm she'll get someone else to do it and don't ask her to come to anymore appts with me. My mother told me not to reply because she doesn't care and i shouldn't either. So i put up a status on facebook and she adressed me about it and i finally texted her back his morning. Then i get her text this morning telling me some stuff about my baby's father and alotta other mess and says thats why another one of my cousins don't mess with me now and shes sick of me and shes gonna delete me off of facebook. As i typed back i had to walk under a tree so no one would see me cry, my biological mother left me in the hospital so i barely know my real family now this family acts like whatever towards me. It feels like my mother is the only one there for me. I haven't seen my WHOLE fam together since my grandma died in February no one comes around our house to even say hey to me or my mom they might come around once or twice when my mother's sick and in the hospital BUT THATS IT! I felt so hurt when she said that because the father of my child won't even look at me somedays and when he does he doesn't speak, his mom knew we were having sex and sneaking around but all of sudden it isn't his when i turn up pregnant, i don't really hear from too many of my old friends, and some guys still like me but they aren't date material or they don't wanna date me., i feel alone alot & my grades are sucking badly i have to work extra hard these last few weeks of school just to get them up (my first semester in college) my class schedule is so bad that i have a night class and i don't have adequate transportation, no one won't teach me to drive so i paid for classes but they only give yu a portion and im sucking at it, i had to take out a loan and im glad i did because my mother's money isn't stable and im never feeling good or full enough lately, i feel like i want to die sometimes What should i do??
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Re: Family???? - November 18th 2011, 09:47 PM

Hey there!

I know life can become much more difficult to handle when you don't have a large support system of friends and family members. Unfortunately, some people don't stick around when the "going gets tough". Your cousin and ex-boyfriend don't seem to have your best interests in mind. That may be due to the pregnancy, and your relationship with them could improve with time... or they may have always been this way, and you didn't see it until recently.

Whatever the case may be, there will be time later on to figure out how important these people are to you, and whether or not you want to keep them in your life. Right now, the most important thing is to keep yourself and the baby healthy. That means getting the pre-natal care you need, no matter what it takes. Have you contacted community clinics and non-profit organizations in your area, to see what they have to offer? There may be government/welfare programs that you would quality for as well.

I understand that there's a lot you want to be able to do - repair these relationships, learn how to drive, complete your college education, etc. - but the priority really does need to be on your physical well-being, your baby's physical well-being, and your financial situation following the birth of your baby. Everything else can be put on hold until you're not feeling so overwhelmed.

I wish you all the best, and I hope things will work out for the better when all is said and done.

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