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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question Tired of my friend lying all the time - November 9th 2011, 08:38 PM

Hey,
So I have this one friend who is always lying. She is always saying how she got drunk and has all these boyfriends, but I know she's lying. I've seen her when she's supposed to be 'partying' in Tesco and her 'boyfriends' are just her sisters friends from university she's seen once.

I didn't mind too much at first but it's just getting annoying now. I don't honestly understand why she's doing it. It's just making me and my friends think she's attention-seeking and slightly desperate. I can't work out if she think it's making her look cool or trying to get a boyfriend.

Also she told my other friend she didn't mind if she dated her crush (the other friend asked her first because she didn't want to hurt her) now she is just trying to sabotage their relationship. She is the only one out of all of us who knows where to get his dream birthday present he really wants from my other friend, but is refusing to tell her. She was crying the other day because he said he had brought her something amazing and she couldn't get him anything good. This was the only thing he wanted and my friend KNEW how it was upsetting my other friend.

She is really nice and supportive but I just wish she'd stop lying. Everyone knows she's lying and they make fun of her behind her back. I've tried telling her before but she just laughs and says it's true and make up some more lies about why she wasn't where she said (like "Oh I was just using my fake ID to buy some more alcohol")

I know there isn't much I can do but I would like to know why you think she's doing this. It's not such a problem now but I don't want her to ruin her whole life because of this constant lying.

Hugs x


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Re: Tired of my friend lying all the time - November 11th 2011, 04:13 PM

Have you tried talking to her about it? It says you have, but maybe you should talk to her about it some more. Tell her that you don't want to be around someone who purposely tries to sabotage a relationship and lies all the time. If it continues to happen, distance yourself from her. If she asks you why you've distanced yourself, be honest. I don't know why she is doing this. She could be doing this to gain approval, or to make herself look better. She could be doing it because she is a compulsive liar and doesn't even know she lies! And yes, that is possible. If you lie so much, for so long, eventually you don't know the difference between a lie and truth. In which case, she would need help. Call her out on every lie. Don't play along with her lies.

My parents had a friend who was a compulsive liar. Why she lied, I don't know or simply don't remember. And my parents were really good friends with her. And she was nice and supportive like your friend. But every time she lied, and my parents knew..they called her out on it. Eventually, with much effort, support, talking, they were able to get her to a point where she never lied anymore. It's possible that your friend is insecure about something, and she feels she needs to lie to keep her life going.

Take care<3


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