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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ThePolarPanther Offline
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Name: Amber
Gender: Other

Posts: 52
Join Date: June 30th 2011

November 12th 2011, 12:57 PM

basically, i screwed my life up. it started the 1st of sept when my parents found out i had been sneaking out with my bf at the time. & we had driven 150 mph to get me back home. she called his house and told his parents that he needed phsyciatric help and that he is mentally unstable(more on that later). anyways i was grounded and everything was taken away from me. (continued)

when i found out about this(my mum said THEY called HER and that my bf didnt want anything to do with me) i became depressed/suicidal and cut myself/attempted an overdose, which when my parents found out they tried putting me in foster care again. but they didnt.

so i got in contact with my ex and he told me what happened when my mum called- i was furious that she lied, but i never confronted her. me&my ex met up(i lied to my parents on what i was doing) and we ended up having sex. after though he said it didnt feel the same, he said he moved on more than he thought he had.

be4 we met up my parents discovered we had been talking and called his house and told them that if he were ever in contact with me again that theyd call the police and have him sent to jail. after we met up he said he was confused about his feelings, and l8r he said he thought he still loved me so we met up again and said he wanted to be fbuddies & that he didnt want to get in2 a relationship with me but that he did want 2 get into one

so all while this happened we had discussed our relationship- apparently i was messed up cuz i had continuely broken up with him and i had forced him to sneak out with me, i broke up w him constantly cuz he was mr. abusive! His parents didnt no that though and he tells ppl stuff to make him look like the good guy so now his parents think im messed up.

so shit happened and i ended up sleeping in my car for the night. anyways exbf told his parents wut was going on, and they told him that if he got back with me theyd kick him out. the next day he got a gf and told me he loved her now. so my parents knew and i havent spoken to him since. well yesterday i was here on teenhelp and my mum freaked- said if i ever go on here again im not allowed to go on my computer and l8r she said some1 from this site sent her a very sexual message

so i just dont know how to deal- I feel like its my fault for the break up(ex has told all close friends what happened, making himself look like the good guy) and im embarassed to see them now, im embarassed to what his parents think(they are very active in the community) and idk about my parents- I cant trust them and vice versa.

(ps- thanks willow)

~:: ~ :: ~

Last edited by SparklingWine; November 12th 2011 at 03:19 PM.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
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Age: 31
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Re: screwed my life up - November 19th 2011, 12:04 AM

Hey there! I know things are rough right now, but you have NOT screwed your life up. These are obstacles that can be overcome - and you will overcome them, given time.

There's a lot going on here, and I think your best bet would be to sit down with your parents and discuss everything, without getting defensive and arguing why you did what you did, or accusing your mom of lying (not outright, anyway). Talk about what happened and how you can move past this as a family.

In regards to TeenHelp - first, is there ANY chance your mom could be telling the truth? Could someone on this website have seen your mom's phone number? Have you shared any personal information that could have traced back to your mom? If not, then it sounds like your mom is lying - but I wouldn't outright accuse her of that. Instead, you could ask to see the message and phone number of the sender, saying that there are things you can do to remedy the situation (ex. submit a report on TeenHelp, contact your phone carrier and have the number blocked). By doing this, you're showing your mom that you care enough to try and fix the problem. Getting defensive, accusing her of lying, or arguing about this will give her the impression that you're selfish, ungrateful, etc. I don't believe you are any of those things - but based on recent events, your mom may believe it.

In regards to your ex - unfortunately, this is one of those things that you'll have to work out over time. You can't earn back a parent's trust overnight. By avoiding your boyfriend in every way possible (including physical contact, phone calls, text messages, and even looking at his Facebook profile), you'll be demonstrating that you're serious about respecting your parents' rules. Also, it's not just about respecting your parents' rules... it's about respecting yourself. You said that your ex was abusive. Well, he's not worth your effort, and he's certainly not worth fighting for, not if it's going to lead to all this conflict at home. Convey that to your parents, and show them you're sorry by following the rules they have established for you.

Things ARE going to get better. I know it doesn't seem that way right now, but look at what's happened so far. Your parents haven't sent you back to foster care. That means they still care about you. You're 17, so even if things don't improve at home, you'll be an adult soon, and therefore capable of getting a job and moving out, if need be. You haven't done any permanent damage to yourself or the people in your life - so while your relationships may be strained, they're not irreparable. Finally, there are still people who genuinely care about you. Your friends on TeenHelp are here for you, and if you recently attempted suicide, I imagine you're seeing a psychological professional as well (if you're not, I encourage you to do so, or to at least get in touch with people in your area who have gone through similar struggles).

I wish you all the best. My PM box is always open to you. =)

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life, screwed

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