My Uncle...

[JKmadu619]

I've concluded that it's likely my uncle may be dying of cancer.

His Grandmother (my great Grandmother.) has lectured me about not smoking, and said something offhand, like "You don't want to end up like ****" (The asteriks represent my Uncle's name.)

My mother mentioned something on the phone late at night to my Dad, and another time to her friend when she thought I was in my room, but I was really in the kitchen, again offhand things that kinda snuck in there like "I hope **** is okay!" and "Cancer is scary when it's in the family."

I'm not close to him at all. It's been over five years since I talked to him at all. Basically he never really taked to us often before that, and his wife basically hated my siblings and I, and kids in general. She saud was fine having contact with my parents as long as we weren't around. That was basically the last time we ever talked to them. I can't help but feel we ruined my Mom and her brother's releationship.

Anyhow, I have no real way of contacting him, and I've asked my family and they refuse to tell me anything, leaving it vauge like "I'm not sure if he's feeling very good, but who knows for sure?" and basically refuse to tell me anything.

What am I supposed to do? I feel like my intelligence is insulted when they withold important things like this. I want to know if I'm about to lose my Uncle.

- Justin

[Kate*]

Hey Justin, I'm sorry to hear about what's happening. Cancer is very scary, but it isn't a death sentence anymore. You did NOT ruin your mother's relationship with her brother, it isn't your fault that your aunt doesn't like you. I know it's tough when you want to know things that people won't tell you. I'm sure they think they're protecting you by not telling you things. If you really want to know have a serious conversation with them about how you feel when they withhold information from you. Keep in mind though that ignorance may be bliss in this situation and they're only doing it because they think it's best for you.

[Chris.]

I know how you feel about people withholding information from you and treating you like a 2 year old. I also think that you should talk to them and tell them that you would like to know whats going on because you are worried.

Im sorry to hear about all this. Cancer is such a bad thing that happens to very good people (Cancer is in my family genes). I hope that you show your family how mature you are and how you deserve and have the right to know whats going on.

If you get worked up, I think you should write your feelings down. Writing stuff down will do wonders for you - and will let all your emotions out without causing problems.

Goodluck, my friend.