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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Helping a friend... - November 16th 2011, 08:36 PM

So one of my friends is having a really hard time lately. I didn't know it was that serious until today she just broke down crying. She rarely cries, only if it's truly dire.

After she had cooled down I sent her a message letting her know that I was there for her etc. etc. (although she knew that already.) But I have no idea what happened to make her break down. She just kept saying that she is bad at life, and that nothing ever goes in her favor, and things of that nature. The look in her eyes scared me tho... I'm just worried that this might be more serious than I presumed. I don't want to know because I'm nosey or because I simply like knowing things. I need to know because that is the only way I can help, if she were to open up.

Which brings me to my next point. She is one of those people that doesn't trust anyone (even me, one of her closest friends.) She keeps everything inside and bottled up. It's sort of like when you are trying to pry something out of someones hands but their grasp is fixed.

So my question is, how do you get someone to open up willingly? How would you help her? If you don't mind avoid answering with "be there for her" because I'm already working on that. Thanks so much <3


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Re: Helping a friend... - November 16th 2011, 08:46 PM

Spend as much time with her as you possibly can and I know that its the same as "be there for her" but that's seriously the biggest thing and the most effective. I would also recommend letting an adult know of your concerns for her. You have to remember that you cannot force someone into telling them their feelings. If anything, it'll drive them farther away. Just be a good friend to her. Its the best you can do. I've learned that the hard way.


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Re: Helping a friend... - November 18th 2011, 01:05 AM

Are you close with her family at all? Maybe if you ask them, they can let you know if they've noticed anything about how she's acting. Tell her that you aren't trying to pressure her, you're just worried. Let her know that she can always lean on you. If she continues to seem upset, and you're really concerned, you can ask her friends and family. If she has trouble opening up, try your best to be patient. It's hard to balance between concerned and nosy, I know, but she'll come around.
   
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Re: Helping a friend... - November 18th 2011, 01:49 AM

I have a similar situation happening with one of my friends. It's slightly different, as I'm closer to him than he is to me, which is a bit of an off-kilter kinda thing, but it is what it is.

Anyway, if you actually are both really close to each other, just encourage her to tell you what's wrong, and just assure her that you really want to help her.


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Re: Helping a friend... - November 18th 2011, 02:35 AM

As the others have said. Just be there for her and show that you support her. If she doesn't want to tell anybody yet then don't force her, she will come out and talk when she is ready.


"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. "
   
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