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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Zunean Offline
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Ditch him or help him? - November 19th 2011, 04:30 AM

My situation is quite complicated. It more sounds like a drama but the difference is it's real and I'm quite struggling about this.
This friend and I are both in pre-IB classes. Im asian and he is white. We started to know each other since last year but we barely talked to each other. So we are actually friends since this semester.The reason we are friends is because we are both in pre-IB and we both love drawing.
This friend I have I would say has a difficult life. His parents divorced since he was little and his dad remarried. He switches houses every three days and a half. He gets EVERYTHING he wanted. He has a older brother which seems to be his most important person more than his parents. The family issues seems to cover him with psycological shadows.
Let me describe him: he seems to be careless to everything, most of his answer would be "I don't care". He can become friends with any people, talking about random stuff like music, movies etc. But the point is, he always seems to be hiding himself.
He is extremly sensitive I would say, he doesn't compromise with any people, and gets REALLY anxious when a person says "No" to him.
He seems also been living an unnormal life. One day he asked me that,"Do you think I'm a good person or a bad?" I said good. And he told me then you don't really know me. Which means he assumes he is a bad person. And he says that in school, at home, he's actually faking the whole time, only when he is "outside", it's his most happy time and he IS the real him. (He told me no more, and said maybe one day I'll tell you what I do "outside" I would guess it's bullying and stuff.)
I asked him can you be the "real" you for today. Then when i sees him. It shocked me to death. He seemed to be so cold, like not alive. His eyes and face, with no emotions, and speechless.
I can't believe there are this kind of people around me.

From this moment i think that he draws and watches anime is only for escaping to the fake world. I don't really know what he actually cares about. It's like this moment you are friends with him, the next moment you guys are strangers.
I will be stuck with him for the next four years because of the special program Im in.
And this friend really concerns me alot, I moved alot so actually I'm new to the highschool, and he's the only person that I actually attempt to be a true friend with. With my old friends advices, I should ditch him and find some real friends. But I feel bad for this friend, and i actually wanting to try and open his heart.

I hope you would give me some advices, should i ditch him and leave him there or become closer friends with him. And how should I do that? He doesn't really like to talk about himself. And when i think about him, I feel sad. And really don't know whats important to him and what should i do.
P.S To him maybe I'm just one of those people he uses to get rid of the time. But to me he is the first friend I want to be closer friend with. (Don't take it as i don't have any friends, i got alot of friends but no close ones, because of the continuance of switching schools.)
Thank you for your help!
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Disneygirl94 Offline
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Re: Ditch him or help him? - November 19th 2011, 05:28 AM

I think this is his way of looking for help or attention. I believe you should stick with him for now and just try to help him out, show him your always there for him if he needs somebody to talk to. He may be going through a really hard time and doesn't know how to deal with it. Just try to talk to him but don't force him into telling you anything if he doesn't want to.

"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. "
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