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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Angry Frustration. - November 20th 2011, 02:30 AM

I haven't really gotten along with my family for the past 5 years. My dad had a stroke in May of 2010. I honestly thought that pulling through everything would bring us closer together. But, the complete opposite happened. His stroke has driven our immediate family even farther apart. We're all fighting, all the time.

What's really frustrating me tonight is his attitude. He has this mindset that he's better than the rest of us. He thinks our worlds should stop for him. We do the best we can to help him out, since he can't move around much anymore. But, if we do the tiniest thing wrong, he either gets really mad or he gets really sad and makes us all feel guilty. He also talks about his stroke ALL THE TIME. I know it affected him in a huge way. It affected all of us. But, he's constantly taking the opportunity to talk about it and tell the same stories again and again, like he's trying to get a sympathy vote out of people.

I'm a Christian, so if you're not, I'm sorry if this offends you. But, since he had this stroke, he claims to have "found God." I really don't see it though. He's such a hypocrite about it. There's a verse in the Bible that says ""And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full." To me, that means that doing godly things, for the sake of your own reputation, is hypocritical. It's almost worse than denying God. Yet, he does this all the time. He'll always talk about what a good Christian he is and point out all the flaws that other people have in their walks. He'll recite Bible verses, then do the exact opposite. It bugs the heck out of me!

I guess the one good thing that has come out of all of this is the fact that it's made me closer to family I never would have met before this happened. I have such a big family. It's impossible for me to meet all of them. But, a lot of people that I hadn't met started coming to visit when my dad was in the hospital. Knowing them has been the biggest blessing of my life. I truly feel like I fit in with them. Isn't it ironic that it's the side of the family that my parents don't really like? Go figure. They don't really like me either.

Well, I'm sorry for this long rant. I'm not really sure if there's advice to be given. I really just needed to get all of this off my chest. If you read through all of this, thank you. Have a great day.


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Re: Frustration. - November 23rd 2011, 12:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovesBrokenDream View Post


What's really frustrating me tonight is his attitude. He has this mindset that he's better than the rest of us. He thinks our worlds should stop for him. We do the best we can to help him out, since he can't move around much anymore. But, if we do the tiniest thing wrong, he either gets really mad or he gets really sad and makes us all feel guilty. He also talks about his stroke ALL THE TIME. I know it affected him in a huge way. It affected all of us. But, he's constantly taking the opportunity to talk about it and tell the same stories again and again, like he's trying to get a sympathy vote out of people.

Strokes do affect people in big ways. Overcoming it though is probably something he is proud of, after all he survived. I think if its really bothering you about how often he talks about it, then you should talk to him and let him know how much it bothers you. He might not even realize that he is being annoying to you. Tell him that its in the past and you'd like to just forget it ever happened.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovesBrokenDream View Post
I'm a Christian, so if you're not, I'm sorry if this offends you. But, since he had this stroke, he claims to have "found God." I really don't see it though. He's such a hypocrite about it. There's a verse in the Bible that says ""And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full." To me, that means that doing godly things, for the sake of your own reputation, is hypocritical. It's almost worse than denying God. Yet, he does this all the time. He'll always talk about what a good Christian he is and point out all the flaws that other people have in their walks. He'll recite Bible verses, then do the exact opposite. It bugs the heck out of me!
This here is a bit tricky, I definitely know a lot of people like this. Is your whole family christian? Maybe he is doing it to feel closer to you guys, or just to feel like overcoming that stroke had a positive effect on him. I wouldn't go pointing out all the hypocritical things he does as that would probably cause a fight (not saying you were going to).


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