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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
LucyLouWho Offline
In that order...
I've been here a while
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Name: Chelsey
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I'm terrified of the thought of them dying. - March 24th 2009, 05:00 AM

I seriously don't know what I'll do when someone that's actually close to me dies. I've never had a close relative or friend pass away, but I know it's going to happen sooner or later. I really think that I'll freak out.

My mom... She's overweight. There's something wrong with her thyroid gland that makes it so she can't lose weight so easily. She had depression, bipolar disorder, endometriosis (sp?), and some other small things. All of this combined makes it really difficult for her to get up and do things for a little exercise. Some days, it's too difficult for her to just walk to the kitchen, so I have to get her food for her. I'm worried that one day, she's going to die and I'm not going to have her here with me anymore. I need my mom.

My grandparents... They've done everything for me ever since I was little because of my mom's conditions. They provide for my mom and I and even help out my aunt and uncle with some of their bigger bills and stuff like that. I don't know what I'll ever do without them. My grandfather defends this family and takes care of us. He's always been such a hard worker. And my grandmother has worked three jobs before. I don't want them to die.

I don't want any of them to die. Ever. I'm afraid I'll go completely insane. Some nights I lay in bed and just think about what it'll be like hearing that they're dead, no longer here, and I cry. I cry a lot. This is something that I just can't get off my mind. My grandparents are both in their late 50's, but my mom is still young... She's 36. But the doctor said that if something doesn't change about her health, she won't live much past 40 or 45.

I can't even think about this anymore.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
J&M's Mommy Offline
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Re: I'm terrified of the thought of them dying. - March 24th 2009, 05:29 AM

I am sure this is normal. I think about losing people I love a lot as well, it just unsettles me. Obviously it is very possible for someone close to you to die considering medical reasons and age, but just know that no matter what you can't really change God's plan.

I would say just keep your mind off of it as much as possible. I know its not easy, but just try to preoccupy yourself as much as you can. And don't let yourself worry so much about the future.

Single Mommy since July 2011
Joseph, 4 and Madelyn, 3

my back-to-back babies are 1 year, 1 week and 1 day apart.
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Strider Offline
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Re: I'm terrified of the thought of them dying. - March 24th 2009, 09:19 PM

Hey Chelsey,

This is something I'm pretty sure a lot of people think about at some point in their lives. I know I have recently. And it's really important to think about how much the people around you really mean to you. I think it's really great that you care about them so much and that they care about you.

The sad fact of life is that everyone will eventually die. There's nothing that can be done about that. But they are still here right now and they love you and care about you. That's what you should try to focus on. Spend as much time with them as you can and enjoy their company.

I think it would help your mom a lot if you tried to help her do some more activity when she is able to. On those days that she can walk farther than the kitchen, take her for a walk outside. It will probably do her some good to get out as well as have you there with her.

Stay strong. They are some lucky people to have you there for them.


The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
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Re: I'm terrified of the thought of them dying. - March 25th 2009, 12:39 AM

Chelsey, it's very normal to be scared about losing someone close to you. It must be difficult to deal with, especially with your mum being ill. It sounds like you're a great support for her, as are your grandparents.

Try not to let the fear of losing them occupy your mind all the time, because it will eat away at you and your fears will only get worse. Just focus on the present and enjoying life with them.

Theres no reason why you can't have many happy years left with all your family.

..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..

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