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girl94 Offline
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Question Huge complex situation...please in need for help and advice - November 26th 2011, 08:58 PM

Hey, this girl94, I'm new to this site. I just joined for some help, I'll tell you my situation, and I'd truly appreciate any feedback if possible.

Ok, two days ago for Thanksgiving, my dad came over. My parents are divorced, and they had a very hostile relationship, still do. I was up in my room, dead silent, I could hear everything downstairs. My mom seemed to have a very worried and upset tone in her voice. My mom was talking to my father about stuff I already knew about. (My mom has been going through some really rough times.) (My mom was dating this guy, who she met through one of her good Christian friends on facebook. My mother's friend help set up my mother with this guy she knew that went to my mother's friend's church. Well, that guy was not who he said he was. He's a con-man, in a span of 7 months, stole 12 grand from my mother, at the end pretending to be a fake bank, horrible mess. Left my mother in shambles.) Well, I heard her talking about what happened again to my father, and it hurt me as well. (I even talked to that guy, and he also lied to me and my brother, I'm devastated.)
I texted my mom if I could speak to her, because secretly this has plagued me as well. Well when she came up, she thought the reason I texted her was I overheard something. (I wasn't eavesdropping, I just heard a word or two and I knew what she was talking about.) Then she told me something I hadn't heard at all, I just knew about the scam part. Before I could say my reason, she said... She said she thought I overheard her about her overdosing on pills. Overdosing on pills one night, as inferred to kill herself. She mentioned about the night she vomited, and I put two and two together. I was so confused. She started acting really weird too. I was shocked (wth?), and my mom said she couldn't talk to me about it. Then she asked me if I knew why she hadn't told me, before I could say anything she walked out. I tried so hard, to talk to her, because I didn't understand what the heck was going on. I tried to call my dad, who never ever called me back. I was so distraught. She did not say anything, I was so freaking out, she acted it was too much trauma. Noone else knew besides me or my dad. Neither were helping me, I eventually turned to advice.
I confided in this guy I liked, best of friends, potential boyfriend. Well I asked him for advice, and he ended up telling me that "that's a problem...you should know if you don't have anyone to turn to you always have church, counselor, etc..." "Take a break from despair..." I feel like it might've been too much for him, that I was maybe too desperate, clingy and I scared him off. He told me to have a good evening and that was that. He's really busy though, never has time to text, but he was able to talk to me.
Anyway, the next day my mom finally spoke to me.
My mom said she told my dad she was overdosing on pills to kill herself, so he could ease up the money on her, etc. (wth???) She said she had accidentally took too many pills that one night, which caused her to vomit one night, also because she just wanted to knock herself out or a few hours. Never ever to kill herself though, told dad the lie to get more money. (I feel betrayed and lied to.) Then she walked out without me saying anything like it was no big deal.
Then I got pissed, feeling like she played a mind game with me. I told her I ended up texting someone about this, that it wasn't cool for her to lead me on like this. She got mad I told someone, and forced me to forward the texts from me to my guy. I ended up clearing it up with my guy friday night texting him, he never replied. Then my mom said it teaches you to eavesdrop, that's bs I never did, she told me something there was never a mention to. It's like she's getting away with this, being dishonest, lying about something, it makes me mad. I'm tired of this s***. (Sorry for the language) I don't know how confused my guy friend must be. Any advice?
   
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girl94 Offline
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Angry Re: Huge complex situation...please in need for help and advice - November 26th 2011, 09:29 PM

I just think it's not cool for my mom to lie to me about this...and play this mind game with me. I care about my mother so much, it just truly hurts me
When I discussed my hurt, she said it was over with. It's the past, yadda-yadda
I know it is over, but my mom can't just get away with this...
   
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Ambedo. Offline
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Re: Huge complex situation...please in need for help and advice - November 27th 2011, 12:07 AM

Hey there,

First of all, welcome to TH. I'm glad you decided to come to us with this.

I understand why you feel lied to. It's possible that your mom didn't tell you about the pills because she didn't want to worry you. However, it's also difficult to tell whether your mom is lying to you or your dad. Obviously, one of you isn't getting the true story. As hard as it is, don't push her about it. It will just end in unnecessary drama. While it certainly isn't right for her to be lying, it might just be her way of coping. Let it be for now. If you catch her in more lies, or you feel like something might seriously be wrong, talk to her about it.

Take care,
Sammi.


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
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