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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Fading Light. Offline
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And so this is Christmas. - November 27th 2011, 10:56 PM

I don't like Christmas. Not in a 'bah humbug' kind of way, just in an 'I wish things were different' kind of way.

See, I like the lead-up to Christmas - putting up the tree, decorating it, hanging up lights. And I like Christmas morning - opening presents and having a lazy breakfast with my mum, dad, and sister. But the rest of Christmas is never fun. We spend half of it in a car, travelling to the city to visit our relatives - who we don't really get along with anyway. I've made it very clear I don't like this tradition, and my sister agrees that we only do it due to family politics and not any real desire to.

But we've been doing this for years, and it's clear that it's not going to change. We used to alternate, sometimes having Christmas lunch down here, but for the past five years or so, it's always us travelling, and them hosting the meal. And slowly they've invited more people, so now it's us, them, their extended family, and a lot of people I don't know. So, long story short, I really don't want to go - this year or any other.

I've agreed to go this year, but when I asked my mother if I'd have to keep going once I moved out and become independent and all that, she said it would 'probably be a good idea'. Call me crazy, but I'd like to have Christmas as something I actually enjoy, not dread. I want to spend it with people I care about, not people I'm obligated to spend time with every year.

So my questions are this. Do you think I'm being selfish, not wanting to go to thsee gatherings? And if you don't, do you have any ideas about how I can convince my mother to let me not go to them?


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Re: And so this is Christmas. - November 27th 2011, 11:34 PM

Do you think I'm being selfish, not wanting to go to these gatherings?: No, I would feel the same way you do. Christmas is about enjoying time with your family and feeling comfortable. If you don't feel comfortable, there's nothing anyone can do about that and it's unfair that you have to continue going.

Do you have any ideas about how I can convince my mother to let me not go to them?: Tell her exactly how you feel. Make it a point that you'd rather not dread Christmas. You can either sit her down and explain this OR you can write a very detailed letter.

Good luck. I hope you end up enjoying your Christmas.
   
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Re: And so this is Christmas. - November 28th 2011, 07:18 AM

I think that you are not selfish for wanting to go to those parties. I like small family parties as well and am very shy and not the way I usally am when Im with a large group of people at a party. I think that you shoul dhave every right to say that you dont want to go and to try to talk to you mom.

However I do think that since you have been going down there for so many years that it wont change.

I dont think that there is much to say or do to convince your family to stay at your own house for xmas. Sorry :-/


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