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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Zunean Offline
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He a Sadist? - December 1st 2011, 06:00 PM

I have this friend, I donítí know how to describe him. Anyways I would say heís nice and is a reasonable friend.
What Iím having trouble with is that right now, he is telling me that he is a sadist, which he explains as he likes to play around with peoplíe emtions, which sort of is like mental abuse. And he really enjoys it and its the only thing that make him exited. When he tell me by now, I realized that he did do this to me a few times. I might be this kind of boy that's really emotional.

Then I go online to search for the people that play with others emotions. Itís explained as

"These Lifelong RBs seem to have a goal to make as many people as they can happy for a few moments, then snatch that happiness out from under them and make them miserable. The wreckage they obliviously leave behind causes lasting damage on folks. And honestly, they donít care."

ďthey explain it away, more often than not with the ďItís not you, itís meĒ bullshit. If they meant it, it would be great. It would mean they were seeing the error of their ways and willing to change their behavior.
Most of the time though, they really mean ďIíve got a new toy to play with and I donít need you anymoreĒ. Like I said, Iím not guiltless in the RB phenomenon. I spent some time casting spells over people. Slowly reeling them in until they were willing to do anything I would have asked. And then I stood back and laughed at their weakness and venerability. And then, I walked away. Usually with a new toy in the cross-hairs. I wish I could tell others what to look for and in turn, how to avoid RBs. I canít though. Itís a look, a feel, the sound of their wordsÖall mixed together and undefined. RBs know no gender, race or sexual orientation. Theyíre everywhere. Waiting for their next catch. Yearning for the excitement of a new toy and quickly becoming bored with it, finding the need to move on again.Ē

Iím not sure if he is one of the kind. But he does fit all the above. The only difference is that he TOLD me he is this kind of person, which I think is really different than other "sadist". Also playing around with emotions seems to be only between boy and a girl. But we are both boys why is he doing this? He states himself as a sadist.
Should I keep a distance with him or still be his friend? He didnít harm me yet buy he might in the furture. If its really like how it says Im only a ďtoyĒ to him, then he would eventually do that right? I know he has a difficult life though.
And it seems that the life he has bores him a lot, is this a way of finding pleasure and fun for him?
I really don't wanna be experienced "have a goal to make as many people as they can happy for a few moments, then snatch that happiness out from under them and make them miserable. "
Btw is it possible to change him?
Thank you for your help!
   
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Re: He a Sadist? - December 3rd 2011, 01:05 AM

Sociopaths don't care about anyone but themselves. If your friend is truly like that, then it's only a matter of time before he attempts to manipulate you in some way for his own personal gain. You can either cautiously wait around to see if that will happen, or you can slowly distance yourself from him now.

It's hard to say whether or not he's a sociopath based on what you said, though. He could be saying that in order to get attention: "Look at me, I'm hopeless, you can't save me, and I dare you to try!" He could be going through a difficult time right now, and his way of coping is to push everyone away ("I'll hurt them before they can hurt me" or "I don't want to hurt them, so I'll push them away first").






   
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