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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Ashes2493 Offline
I'm only the monster u made me
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Need Mother's Approval - December 3rd 2011, 04:00 AM

Soooooo, it's been awhile since I've been here. Been really busy with college, but I really need help with these issue.

As I type this, I'm a puddle pretty much. I've been crying since I left class this afternoon. My sociology professor brought up a good point. We are all in college because of one person who said pretty much, "You can do it." For me that's been my dad, he's always supported me. The thing is everyone in my family (and all of my parent's friends oddly enough) has been telling me "You'll be a great vet," and similar statements. But not my mom. My mom has pretty much been a slap in the face whenever someone says that to me. She says stuff like "What are you going to do when you drop out of vet school," or "What are you going to do when that school turns you down." Pretty much saying that I'll fail no matter what I do.

I have always had a bad relationship with my mom, but I never thought she would stoop that low. And I don't know why I feel that I need her approval on order to feel satisfied. So it surprised me when my professor brought that up, she was the first person I thought of.

And why the hell is she making me cry. I don't cry.

(Sorry If I rambled and confused you. Hope you understand )


Morgan Lynn 5/15/2010
Henry Thomas 12/15/2010

I love you both unconditionally


Let go of the fear Let go of the doubt
Let go of the ones who try to put you down
You're gonna be fine Don't hold it inside
If you hurt right now, then let it all come out
Breathe - Ryan Star

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Incompris Offline
Isaiah 40:30-31
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Re: Need Mother's Approval - December 3rd 2011, 04:14 AM

I understand. Realize what you can do is not based on what your mother thinks, it's based on what you think. For all you know she's jealous of you, and that's why she talks that way. She can't stand to see you or anyone succeed where she's failed. It's childish of her, she really needs to grow up.

It's natural to try and seek approval from parents. She's your mother and you want her to be proud of you. She just sounds to me like she's too stubborn, and even if you were to find the cure to cancer she probably still wouldn't admit she really is proud of you deep down. When you hear her say something negative, completely ignore it. Forget the words and pretend it was never said. I know it sounds silly, but dwelling over it just makes you feel worse.

Cheer up, you made it into the school. Despite what she says, you won't fail.


We were made to be courageous.

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think itís more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Donít you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

   
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Re: Need Mother's Approval - December 3rd 2011, 04:16 AM

I can sort of relate to this. My mother has not been much of a mom. She didn't raise me or support me or even care if she seen me. My father has not ever really been in my life and has never really tried to. It used to bother me that I did not have the support of even one parent. Then, I realized that i did not need to. I am my own person and if I want something to happen, it is up to me. Not my mother, not my father, not my friends; just me. I can't count on them to be there so I count on myself. I am my support system and have been pretty much most of my life. I made sure i did my homework and passed all my tests and classes all through school. no one told me to do it. I never received any gratitude for all my hard earned A's. I have always wanted to make my mother proud or maybe even do good enough that my father can take a step away from his "new" family and "new" children (who aren't even his) to recognize me and all that I have overcome. It has not happened. I have decided instead of making myself miserable waiting for them to come around, I am going to live my life for MY approval. Since you have your Dad supporting you and it sounds like a few more people, take advantage of it. If you have made it this far, you can do it. With or without anyone's approval. I know it would be nice if your mother would be there to support you, but you can not do anything about it except try and talk to her about it and let her know how you feel. If you need anything, feel free to PM me. I hope this helps (: Oh, and when you graduate, let me know where you are working so I can take my cat to the Vet (: ( I don't trust all these loonies around where I live lol)
   
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Ashes2493 Offline
I'm only the monster u made me
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Re: Need Mother's Approval - December 3rd 2011, 04:57 AM

Thanks those posts helped a lot. I usually try to ignore her, but she likes to make herself heard. And it doesn't help that I have to live at home because I can't afford to move out yet.

And the jealousy point makes sense because she wanted to go to college, but she didn't because she was married already. But it's bothers me that I'm the only one she says this to. My older siblings went to college and all that but she never said anything to them like she says to me. She even said she was proud of them.


Morgan Lynn 5/15/2010
Henry Thomas 12/15/2010

I love you both unconditionally


Let go of the fear Let go of the doubt
Let go of the ones who try to put you down
You're gonna be fine Don't hold it inside
If you hurt right now, then let it all come out
Breathe - Ryan Star

Your Helpful Tattoo Enthusiast Ask Away!
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
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